[Perscription]

Young Richard Black awoke on Tuesday last
and found that his headache had reappeared.
He popped one of the pills he had amassed,
stroked his right hand through his long beard.
Shook himself out of his hot sticky bed,
then thought to himself "the night really flew"
Walks out of the bedroom, his bed unmade,
and into the kitchen, says "dejavu".
The clock on the wall reads quarter to one,
he frowns then he curses half heartedly.
Late already the day hasn't begun,
Talks on the phone, apologetically.

Cautiously steps out onto the dry street,
with dark eyes he scans the path up and down.
No threat present in the cruel bristling heat,
he sets off on his way; far side of town.
A pretty girl passes him, head held high.
He wants to wink or smile or say hello,
but she grimaces as he passes by,
stares at her eyes, an emotional show.
Crossing the road, eyes staring at the ground,
senses something to his right and then turns.
A metallic embrace, a screeching sound.
Lies dying on the ground as the sun burns.

Young Richard Black awoke on Tuesday last
to find that his headache had disappeared.
Something from a dream, something from the past,
made him stroke his left hand through his long beard.
Coaxed himself to rise as do the undead.
Stares out of his window at the sky of blue.
Walks out of his bedroom, the bed unmade
steps into the kitchen and "dejavu".
The clock on the wall reads quarter to one,
he curses and frowns invariably.
Late already the day hasn't begun,
talks on the phone and lies, admiringly.

Locks his door as he limps onto the street,
with dark eyes he scans the day up and down.
Down the three steps go his left and right feet
and he follows his crutches into town.
A pretty girl passes him, head held high.
He winks and he smiles and then says hello,
but she grimaces as he passes by,
stares at her eyes, an emotional show.
Crossing the road, his eyes bent on the ground,
feels someone to his right and then turns.
His heart stops for a moment at the sound
of a cars horn hooting, as the suns burns.

[Lubesh]

Nice..prophetic and well held together. Everyday observations were meshed well in there too, but the only thing and this affected the smoothness and made the verse awkward was just an unncessary word(s) in the two repeated lines u have...

and then stroked his right hand through his long beard...

I would remove 'and then' as i see u need the descriptive element - this knocks it and draws it out and ruins the consitency of beat u have.

or even 'his'

and then stroked his right hand through long beard.

personally I think and, the, but and others, takes a lot away from any poetry on most occasions.
Just a thought, but good ditty.

[Perscription]

thanks lu, you are 100% right, and then is gone! cheers

[RENA HANDS]

A bit prickly at the ending of some verses still this Narrative was an extremely agreeable, delightful and charming read.