[osofoaddo]

I don't know who will read these words
To search them hard for meaning
As I struggle to make you feel with me
The Simpler Childhood days.
Mango trees and Coconut fronds
Waving their little bellies in the tropical breeze.
The gentle rain that touched my tongue
To engrave a cacophony of voices.
And the smell of the sea, salty and fresh
Where it touches the sky.
But now I have become alienated ,
Just like the yellow canary bird
That responds and follows the song of another
And flies right into a trap ,
And will forever regret
Following the song of the mate.
Now I understand how that yellow bird must have felt
After loosing its cherished freedom ,
To sing again and again
To lure the next unsuspecting bird .


Part Two Of The Series Of Poems :MEMORIES OF HOME..Dedicated To The Memory Of My Mother..Mrs Margaret Ellen Dedei Addo...1914-2002

[Phoenix]

I think that this poem reflects well the yearnings we all have for the simpler days of our childhood. I have a few suggestions for how you could ameliorate the text of this poem.

In the line "The Simpler Childhood days", I wouldn't capitalize 'simpler' and 'childhood'. They're not names or places, so it looks kind of strange to have them capitalized. I can see why you would have made that grammatical decision, but I think it would work better another way.

In these two lines:

Mango trees and Coconut fronds
Waving their little bellies in the tropical breeze.

I don't think that the word bellies works very well for what you are describing. For the coconut fronds, 'slender fingers' or '(adjective) hair' would probably provide a better metaphor. I'm not sure what one would be for mango tree, but I'm sure you can find a better one than 'bellies'.

Just like the yellow canary bird
That responds and follows the song of another
And flies right into a trap ,
And will forever regret
Following the song of the mate.
Now I understand how that yellow bird must have felt
After loosing its cherished freedom ,
To sing again and again
To lure the next unsuspecting bird .

I understand what you are using these lines for, but I don't get what nature scene they are trying to represent. To my understanding, I don't think that canaries lead their mates into traps. Also, there is no second 'o' in losing.

Overall, you have good themes for your poem. You just have to work out the mechanics of it a little bit.