[Corneac]

"Where is Papa, where has he gone?"
Childish inquisitiveness barely audible
Above a whisper,
Innocence, the air grows crisper,

Toddlers eyes wells with tears,
Mother stifles a gasp of disgust,
Guiltless fears,
Father fulfils his insatiable lust,
Another thrust,

"Where is Father, where has he gone?
Adolescence breeds harmful curiosity,
Voice breaks,
Chasms widen, child hates,

Teenagers gashes with razored glass,
Mother pours herself another drink,
Continued farce,
Father compensates his satisfied mistress,
Endeavours are listless,

"Where is Jonathan, where has he gone?"
Maturity's last grasp at hopeful denial,
Noose is swaying,
He jumps, no buoyant praying,

Adult takes his final, wheezing breath,
Mother's glass smashes to the ground,
Futile death,
Father sits in his motel room alone,
Too late, he reaches for the phone,

[Bluejay]

Holy smoke, that's powerful! The imagery is quick and crisp. I love the passage of time, moving toward its ultimate (horrible) conclusion. I also like how both mother and son take out their hurt with glass (in one form or another) in the fourth stanza.

A tragic, wonderfully written piece. Your depth and insight belie your youth.

[Corneac]

Thanks janbonne...feedbacks's really appreciated mate

[Syrah]

I appreciate this poem. It is very well written... however.. just like I have a hard time reading my story... I have a hard time reading this. Horrors all tooo common. And I know that. I don't pretend it isn't there... I just don't like thinking about it, because what can I do? Ack. It makes me sad. Our works here... make me sad. Hurts in my soul.

[Lubesh]

Brilliantly exectuted and vivd in the story telling to an all too predictable end....great stuff.

[Masa]

My my, I waltzed right into this deathtrap! Fear not, I'm OK, however that's a hell of a packing in here sir! Once again I praise your descriptive talents along with your great use of chronological poetry, one thing leads to another, leads to another, leads to another, until death takes its place at the end. Very... um... graphic.

[Corneac]

Thanks you guys...

Sy...you may not have wanted to read this, but i needed to write it...lol. Thanks.

Lu...was the ending to predictable? Should I change it? Thanks for your compliments

Masa...Graphic it was...thanks dude

[Laughing Man]

Very compelling, Corn.

[Corneac]

Thanks Tyler

[Syrah]

lol. that's not what I meant.

[Corneac]

I know...I know