[Corneac]

A poet watches entranced,
The whirling perusal of her dance,
A perfection that words cannot comfort,

In the waning light of dusk,
The pulsing motion of her husk,
Quivers around him longingly,

In the sparsity of a cleared heath,
Her wild rhythm bestows unto wreath,
Of golden crowns and mahogany kiss,

The poet struggles with unrivalled verse,
But it cannot endure, enthralling curse,
Illusions lay askew, breathing,

The poet reaches out a hand,
Shivering under stolen land,
To confirm the fantasy of sight,

Her laughter echoes amongst the trees,
Dousing the haunted whispering breeze,
Like distant affection beyond his reach,

The poets hand grasps cold air,
For the dream is no longer there,
A wisp of smoke fading briskly,

Forever now the poet stands,
A reverie is all he commands,
The memory of her fading dance,

Beautiful. You and your bloody talented ways!! It's like you wanna rub the cricket thing in again by producing insanely amazing poetry to prove how much better the aussie's are at things.

does it not belong in narrative, though?

[Lubesh]

Beautiful dance orientated story, which i love...somemarvellous lines very hyptnotic and poetic

[Corneac]

Thanks you guys! I was a bit worried about this one, it is good to get some positive feedback.

Haha...no aussies aren't better at most things. Sport and Alcohol. lol.

Does it belong there...oops, I don't know how to change it.

No i was just asking, seems like a narrative to me is all.

[Corneac]

Oh and I see you already changed it aye Dunc? Lol.

Thanks Dunc...

[Masa]

The poet reaches out a hand,
Shivering under stolen land,
To confirm the fantasy of sight,

I love it when commentors rip out a stanza of my poems and say that they really like it, or that they enjoyed a particular portion of that piece, now though I don't do it regularly or else I'll be simply quoting entire poems, I have selected this stanza that stuck out a bit to me... in a good way of course!

I adore the use of having the poet in a poem, you should know I do it myself, and in doing do you must define yourself within a poem under your hand's creation. See what you are to yourself and allow others to see clearly as you wish them to see.

The fantasy of sight... truly a remarkable dance you've shown to us... yes, I think I've ranted enough here.

[Corneac]

Ah thankyou Masa...haha gald you thought there was a stnaza worthy enough to rip out.

Means a lot dude, thankyou...

[angel]

another great piece corn nice one. emotional piece

[Bluejay]

I'm not sure why you were worried about this one. It's wonderful. I felt transported to another place. The imagery was great, the words were smooth and compelling, and the start/stop rhythm fit in with the whole dancer theme.

Brilliant piece!

[Corneac]

Thanks J and arsenal. I'm not sure why I was worried about it. I am perhaps my biggest critic. Haha. Thanks again!

[Venomous Vixen]

Ah, this one is truly a beauty. You know you are one of few I actually really enjoy rhyme on, it just seems to flow for you, so well. What I enjoyed about this so much was you used the poet, like you have in some of your other works, but you didn't lose that emotion. You could feel the poet and the best part, the frustration at losing that great thought... haha hits close to home that does. Anyway, just drudging up some old stuff because I can

[Corneac]

Yes I noticed, hahaha, thanks, this oen one of the few pieces that I didn't like, but others did, usually you jsut know if it's crap or not. Hahaha. Or mayeb evryone likes protecting my ego?

[Venomous Vixen]

Eh, I wouldn't protect it... that fathead could use a few good blows. No this is really a great piece of writing.

[Corneac]

Hehehe...Stop spamming!

[Nupur]

Brilliant Chris, just brilliant! You choice of words, the flow... impeccable! I loved the rhyme scheme, feels good to see some end rhymes from you, and feels even better to know that you can carry them off in such a terrific manner. Awesome poem! I loved it!