[SeaN]

It's early Sunday morning
and the clouds are moving fast.
Rays of light are breaking free-
towards the earth, they're cast

Shadows fall around me
watch the dew evaporate,
wander through the atmosphere
to ponder this new fate.

Songbirds mock the insincere
as daybreak flaunts its glory.
A stoic river claps and yawns-
tells a silent story.

Onto me, it finally dawns
that life is never perfect...
but take it now, for what it's worth-
as life itself is the gift.

[Corneac]

SeaN! Awesome man...serious I loved this. Don't no whether it's the universal feelings or what. But you have such a great clarity about your words - although your description paint such a vivid picture...they still manage to convey so much. It's awesome man. Fr45om an objective point of view, your poetry is pretty much perfect - dexciprions and imagery that hit the reader, beautiful flow. Well rounded metaphors. It's great. Really.

But sometimes I wonder if the rhyme, and the perfect are fetters on your skill. Ah we, I can wonder.


Anyway, darn brilliant...and the personification was well done.

Songbirds mock the insincere
as daybreak flaunts its glory.
The stoic river claps and yawns-
tells a silent story.

Made me green with envy dude. And the inspirational yet not, last stanza was marvellous.

[Gurdit]

SeaN, this is awesome!
It's the kind of poetry I like to read. It's beautiful, and yet not obscured by words whose meaning I need to verify.

[Ryankia]

I can imagine your inspiration for this one. Wonderful job with the imagery and flow. Beautiful!

~Ryan

[Venomous Vixen]

I loved this SeaN... so much. I have to agree with Chris on the selected stanza as my favorite as well. Haha making me think on a sunday morning, dangerous thing you know lol.

The second stanza... upon a second read hit me with how amazing it was, the evaporation and then the wandering through the atmosphere.. like you wandering, searching. Brilliant.

Really enjoyed this, glad to see you back!

[Venomous Vixen]

By the way, I am taking this out of amateur and placing it in advanced, where it should be.

[SeaN]

Thanks very much for the kind words everybody!

Chris- your gushing never gets old! Seriously though, means allot coming from you mate. I appreciate the comments!

Ti- yeah it was too early in the morning to think of any big words. You're off the hook this time

Ry- Thanks allot! It was really nice for a minute... then I sat down at the computer and by the time I finished writing I had missed most of it! lol Thanks for the comment!

Bri- Thank you! Glad you liked it- and thanks for the move Ms. Quality Goddess

[squattaz]

i like this bit below

Songbirds mock the insincere
as daybreak flaunts its glory.

because it makes sense that birds, by way of their beautiful voices expressing the marvel of nature and life itself, would actually 'fly in the face' of anyone who is 'insincere' (ungrateful) about life... and by way of this idea (inspired by things such as singing birds) one comes to the realization that even though life is not perfect, it is a 'gift worth living'?

Onto me, it finally dawns
that life is never perfect...
but take it now, for what it's worth-
as life itself is the gift.

[LullabyHearts]

as daybreak flaunts its glory.

My favorite line

[SeaN]

thanks for the comments

[RENA HANDS]

Shadows fall around me
watch the dew evaporate,
wander through the atmosphere
to ponder this new fate.

Many applauses to this exacting portrait. Not that I didn’t enjoy the whole picture, but that one in particular was most memorable, impressive.

[Lubesh]

Onto me, it finally dawns

Great pick up of the whole scheme. A lovely pace and expert tone.

[PaulJJ]

Hey Sean. Nice work. Although I disagree, I believe in soma ways death is a gift.
how very depressing of me. anyway my fav part is

Songbirds mock the insincere
as daybreak flaunts its glory.
A stoic river claps and yawns-
tells a silent story.

Life should be lived to the fullest, and you have said that in the most beautiful way.