A soft rhythm
of shadows strike
the amber mists of light
from streetlamps
like a movie reel of
bullet-holes, but
with the sound turned down.
Sitting up in bed,
I watch for the little
inconsistencies of vision
that result
from the herd of droplets
racing down from the clouds—
they’re the antelope
on the night’s African veldt,
and though I try
to hunt down just one,
I can’t verify
a singular existence.
Your breathing is a counterpoint
to the minor chaos of notes
coming from the street,
a low rushing woodwind
harmonizing
with trash-can cymbals
and gutter marimba—
the undulating melody;
it’s so quiet I can’t stand
to miss a sound;
I don’t want to fall asleep
just yet.
The rain and all its
lucid inscrutability
will keep me company.
__________________
"True progress means / matching the world to / the vision in our heads / but we always change / the vision instead"
Well that's just about perfect. ^_^ I was really going to crack down on my editing, but I guess it'll have to wait for the next one in the bin. I couldn't find a single thing that I would even suggest thinking about changing. Some very lovely moments:
Quote:
like a movie reel of
bullet-holes, but
with the sound turned down.
Quote:
Your breathing is a counterpoint
to the minor chaos of notes
coming from the street,
Quote:
The rain and all its
lucid inscrutability
will keep me company.
Gorgeous! Gold star. ^_^
__________________
Your battles inspired me - not the obvious material battles
but those that were fought and won behind your forehead.
Very nice........ such beautiful imagery, it's like I was there......... Great job, man!
__________________
I created the sound of madness, wrote the book on pain and yet, I'm still here to explain.
That the darkest hour never comes in the night, you can sleep with a gun....but when ya gonna wake up and fight.......for yourself -Shinedown
This is really beautiful. I love listening to the rain at night... I have never thought to describe it, but now I don't have to! I can imagine it now, in the middle of the day Great strong imagery and really good flow, too. Great job!
__________________
The world is full of goodbyes. You probably meet a new one every day. But that never makes it any easier.
Goodbye, Captain, my Captain. May you rest in peace. [[2/1/10]]
Oh Austin, this is simply brilliant. I sure do miss you around here, dude. You truly are one of my favorite poets here. You have such a brilliant way with words, and this really was a perfect example of that.
__________________ "Angels lie to keep control. If you still care don't ever let me know."-Slipknot
Ahhh! Thank you all for uncovering this and for your kind words! I will try to be on here more often as I get my life whipped back into shape here in the waning weeks of spring semester. Sorry I was such an absentee writer in the interim. :/
__________________
"True progress means / matching the world to / the vision in our heads / but we always change / the vision instead"
Coming from you, it means a lot. 
Re: Awakening to the Rain at 3 a.m.
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