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05-04-2005, 08:21 AM
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Balance
The eternal power of the ocean,
That living, breathing body, Gives me some small notion, Of just how small I am. Nature, that perfect balance, Of creation and destruction, It knows no Good and Evil, These things are purely human. The forest fire blazing, The spring flowers growing, The sea tempest raging, The winter weather snowing. Harmonic dischord, Ordered chaos. Do we remain humble? No, we slip and stumble.
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Mr.Snail (Missing, presumed Lost). Last edited by Lubesh; 05-04-2005 at 10:16 AM. Reason: delete typing 
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05-04-2005, 10:20 AM
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Re: Balance
I particularly liked the third verse; where it came in, in the overall style of the poem.
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05-04-2005, 10:37 AM
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Re: Balance
well-worded! and I really like the overall idears in the poem. This is one of my favorites of yours. I especially liked the first stanza "how small I am" because that is the EXACT feeling I always get in nature. Sort of, like I'm just one star in the universe or one grain of sand out of all the millions on the beach. I also like the paradoxes in 4th stanza. I always liked paradoxes anyway. lol . . . and the ones you used make such good sense! Yeah, nature teaches us all to be humble . . . she lifts a root from one of her trees and THAT's what we stumble over. lol . . . there is something hilarious about watching someone trip over a root. Ha!!! Pride goes before a fall.
__________________
"And I am thinking now of how the writing of our lives, is like the writing of good poetry, the kind that can change a life with the utterance of a single arrow shaped word stretching across eternity. "
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05-04-2005, 04:56 PM
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Re: Balance
thankyou i'm glad both of you liked it.
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Mr.Snail (Missing, presumed Lost).
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18-10-2006, 07:39 PM
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Re: Balance
nice Lost, well written. like the lines:
Quote:
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19-10-2006, 02:32 AM
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Re: Balance
I love the entirety of this poem. Well done without any critique to give.
I really like how you end the poem... Quote:
I , also, like how this isn't a rhyming poem, but gives the sense that it is because of the different rhymes placed within. To me, it doesn't seem like you were going for a rhyming poem per say, because while every line doesn't rhyme, you also have different rhyme schemes... all of which work smoothly.
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 These crazy cats are covering the town in kitty litter!! You know we're the shit.
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19-10-2006, 06:34 AM
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Re: Balance
Nice, LS. The flow was flawless. Nice feeling packed into there, too. Really liked this line:
"Harmonic dischord, Ordered chaos." This seemed to flow best out of it all. Great stuff.
__________________
"We discover that all the poems and stories we've been posting either need commas, or don't have enough. I call her The Comma Fairy..." ~Phonoho 
Last edited by loosygoosy007; 19-10-2006 at 06:35 AM.
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07-11-2006, 06:39 AM
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Re: Balance
Well done, Lost Snail. I always enjoy your works.
__________________
"You didn't come into this world. You came out of it, like a wave from the ocean. You are not a stranger here." ~ Alan Watts
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