[Dark Kitten]

Fragile little sparrow,
perched so high in your tree
high up from his grasp
so calm, beautiful and free.

Your feet leave the tree
soaring so high in flight
up amongst the clouds
far out of his sight.

You flutter down
wings effortlessly floating
you go too low
and he's there gloating.

One quick movement
and you're snared tight
your eyes wide in terror
no heart in you to fight.

At first you are revolted
at this sickening intrusion
plotting your escape
longing for sky's profusion

Many years you spend
in his ugly, sleazy cage
too disheartened to even sing
and no longer feeling rage

Then one day there is a stir
somone new has come
she whispers that he is dead
and your whole body goes numb.

She opens your little door
says "be free, precious one"
you hesitate at first
thinking it to be cruel fun.

Seeing your delay
she turns and leaves you there
testing your abused body
and fluttering your wings with care.

You almost forget how
your eyes are almost blind
your wings are weak with age
but you will no longer be confined.

You leap at last
almost colliding with the floor
before your wings take you up
and carry you out the door

Fragile little sparrow
once again high in your tree
you close your tired eyes
and are at last set free.

[Lubesh]

I love a happy ending....good stuff, the only thing was calling something a 'pun' maybe for the sake of rhyming i dont know but you could have 'Thinking it cruel fun' perhaps...ignore me if i am wrong. but i enjoyed that and the descriptive detail.

[Dark Kitten]

hmm im not sure what you mean. what wrong with pun? she thought that the lady was playing a cruel joke on her... maybe pun it too literary in its meaning... if you geta chance reply back and tell me why it doesnt work in your eyes, i appreciate the feedback.
~DK

[Miragedev]

I thought this is a great poem for children. It's easy to read and it's enjoyable. The words are vivid and while reading this, i can picture myself flipping through an illustrated book telling the story of this beautiful sparrow..

[Lubesh]

Well a pun is more of a play on words than a trick or joke or act, if u like..such as u described.

[Dark Kitten]

hmm Lubesh, given your comments and a quick look over I think you are right, and since it still fits in the poem I have changed it. Thank you so much for your help.
Shuhui, Thanks for commenting. Most of my poems are very simplistic and graphic, I was just never one for using big hard-to-imagine words when the smaller more descriptive ones would work better. It seems some authors put them in just to make themselves seem more intelligent or adept or something along those lines. I like it when everyone can understand what I write, I find it more enjoyable. Of course this poem has a double meaning, like most, which gives it that more advanced status. It is actually about a girl who is trapped and abused by a person (thinking step parent-ish) who comes into her happy life and basically locks her in a cage of shame and bodily torture.
Man I really need to be out in the sun and fresh air more, nearly all of my poems have a hidden darkness I think.
~DK

[Storiesmaniac]

Ha ha, thats because you are evil, Hey i liked the poem by the way, nice imagery, and nice flow.

[spinx]

i really like this one . happy ending

[Dark Kitten]

Thankyou spinx, this poem is close to my heart, your kind comment means a lot. Thank you all in fact, once again.
~DK

[nightcharmer]

I love this poem totally. Nice work. It's just so vivid. However, for me, I choose to see this as a sad poem. The ending part "you close your tired eyes and are at last set free" I take it as the sparrow has died. It's like death seems to be a form of freedom for the little sparrow, WHO spent probably a long time caged. Lol. Sorry for the pessimistic view but I would rather look at it this way. Hope you don't mind a reader who sees a different light to the ending. Whether is it a happy or sad ending, this is exemplary work!

[Wordsmyth]

Originally Posted by nightcharmer

I love this poem totally. Nice work. It's just so vivid. However, for me, I choose to see this as a sad poem. The ending part "you close your tired eyes and are at last set free" I take it as the sparrow has died. It's like death seems to be a form of freedom for the little sparrow, WHO spent probably a long time caged. Lol. Sorry for the pessimistic view but I would rather look at it this way. Hope you don't mind a reader who sees a different light to the ending. Whether is it a happy or sad ending, this is exemplary work!

I got the same out of it Nightcharmer. I don't know if it was neccesarily sad though. I looked at it as he died as he was meant to live, free. Nice poem. I like a good simple poem that I don't have to burn too many brain cells trying to figure out. THere's not many left anyway.

[Storiesmaniac]

Wait where is Dk, i havent seen her on for ages? Where are you punk?

[Lubesh]

jir said something about busy with finals.....we wish her good luck

[Storiesmaniac]

OOOOOOOOOOOh i c. Good luck Dk

[BookWhale***]

Very desciptive...

[Dark Kitten]

Yup, very busy indeed, but I'm back! hehehehe
To Nightcharmer and MMW.... you got it guys. I was choosing to refrain from giving that away and hoping someone would figure it out eventually. The little sparrow does die in the end, and for her to have escaped to die was her freedom because dying in the cage would have left her caged forever, even after death. At least thats what I was thinking when I wrote it, but i love seeing interpretations of my poems that have been filtered through every individual's mind. It shows a certain tendancy and mindset to either see it as a happy ending or a more sad one of finality.

Thanks for sharing guys and happy to be jumping back in only to see that y'all haven't forgotten about me.
~DK
ps: I did really well with finals!

[Wordsmyth]

Yeah I won, I won!!!! Oh well technicaly I tied. Well I guess since it wasn't aactualy a contest I didn't do either. Darn I'm a loser again. Welcome back DK and Congrats on the Finals success!!!

[Dark Kitten]

haha I'm just happy someone got it the way I thought it. Thanks for the congrats. Merry Christmas!
~DK

[sandy]

Beautiful reading!