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Old 10-12-2005, 10:03 AM
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Wintertime

Wintertime

Burning, raging, orange hues
A new sunset bursts into song
A garnish for the winter snow
Cold and ever long

Winter birds leave footprints
In a powder puff dream
Moaning lakes crackle;
Frozen mists grip
Trickles, trickle
From icicles over stream

Halos clutching every bough
Are shaken gently to the ground
Frosted fields and snow peaked hills
Pristine, unspoilt
White light of winter
For miles and miles around
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File Type: mp3 Wintertime-Lubesh.mp3 (1.27 MB, 58 views)
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Last edited by Lubesh; 12-04-2006 at 09:49 AM. Reason: correction
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Old 10-12-2005, 10:40 AM
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Red face Re: Wintertime

your poem was thown to gather. It makes no sence.
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Old 11-12-2005, 03:47 AM
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Re: Wintertime

I really love this one, lubesh.
I had been looking for a poem that suits the season, and yours fits so well, I will put it on my list to memorize. With all the walking I have to do when there's snow on the ground (biking being out of the question) it's nice to have things to recite on the way to classes.

"Burning, raging orange hues".....great imagery!
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Last edited by Epsilonist; 13-12-2005 at 07:16 AM.
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Old 11-12-2005, 04:28 AM
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Re: Wintertime

ah thanks eps......i was deflated by unregistered there....lol NOT!! mind u truth be told i did sort of throw it togeth whilst scribbling and doing bills and put it on here and then to see that sort of spooky!!!!!
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Old 11-12-2005, 10:11 AM
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Re: Wintertime

well you know some of the best poetry is thrown together.. lol
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Old 11-12-2005, 05:54 PM
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Re: Wintertime

Wow great imagery. Nice work.
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Old 13-12-2005, 12:15 AM
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Re: Wintertime

Excellent work here. You really manage to portray the brilliance of winter. How lovely. I especially like the phrase

Quote:
In a powder puff dream
Sounds like "power puff(girls)" Lol. And ho yea, you are a power puff lady!
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Old 13-12-2005, 06:16 AM
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Re: Wintertime

thanks guys.....i love powder puff lady lol
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Old 13-12-2005, 02:23 PM
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Re: Wintertime

I loved this! I loved "a garnish for the winter snow". Hey, I live in the snow, and this really impressed me.
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Old 13-12-2005, 03:07 PM
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Re: Wintertime

Nice throw there. I really like this. For those of us that love the snow but live in the desert state know as Texas, this really makes me feel the cold. Thanks.
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Old 27-03-2006, 09:32 AM
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Re: Wintertime

Hi Lubesh,

You know, I finally did memorize this one. It's rolling around in there with the marbles now
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Old 31-03-2006, 01:40 AM
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Re: Wintertime

well don't lose it...remember the marbles fiasco!!!!!!
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Old 04-04-2006, 11:54 AM
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Re: Wintertime

I never got that... Whats with the marbles goddamnit.
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Old 04-04-2006, 05:46 PM
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Re: Wintertime

I've never seen snow, and i was able to imagine it thought this, Thanks.
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Old 10-04-2006, 11:05 AM
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Re: Wintertime

good work from the mr. spinx
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Old 11-04-2006, 09:33 AM
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Re: Wintertime

nice of you mr s and thanks everyone else
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Old 11-04-2006, 12:51 PM
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Re: Wintertime

I really enjoyed this poem, especially the first line as I associate orange with rage. The only line I didn't really like was "as cold as it is long," which seemed a little juvenile and stood out among your wonderful descriptions and images. "A powder puff dream" struck me as a particularly powerful description, original and capable of unearthing a sub-conscious image of snow. I look foward to reading your other posts.

Last edited by jason; 12-04-2006 at 09:38 AM.
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Old 12-04-2006, 09:48 AM
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Re: Wintertime

thank you jason......i agree about the cold as it is long.apart from it doesn't make sense rreally but i remmeber having trouble finding something for that.i have changed it though
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Old 14-04-2006, 12:15 PM
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Re: Wintertime

I really hated the lines:

Burning, raging, orange hues
A new sunset bursts into song

Because this is a poem about Winter! And the words, burning, raging and the description of orange hues to the new sunset....did not describe winter at all. The picture that it draws is that of Florida in mid summertime...not winter in a country side...as the rest of the poem and title lead you to believe.
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