[Phonoho]

Be no prophet ye, in my name;
Your words profit me to no fame

You signify in colors best befit
A charlatan to reasoning and wit

Your blasphemy is livid in its wrath;
You scoff at we who linger in its path

Your salt has taken sense beyond the pale,
forsaking our defence to no avail

For thine is but a gospel best not preached,
A hostile spark which tinder has yet reached

Philosophy will test who, in his youth,
Will guess in acquisition of a truth

But time will tender each religion dead,
Surrendering to visions in its stead
______________________

I may be adding more to this later.

[Nupur]

This was amazing. I felt that the first 2 lines in trochaic tetrameter served as an introduction to the rest of the poem. I saw it as a way to make sure that your reader isn't overwhelmed by the pentameter you've used later. A brilliant touch.

The rhymes were lovely and the entire poem flowed well. The transition of ideas was impeccably carried out. This is definitely one of my favourites here. Thank you for the amazing read.

[Hirak]

Yeah the pentameter is appreciated.

But I didn't like the use of "thine" here.

Philosophy will test who, in his youth,
Will guess in acquisition of a truth.

*Smiles*

Yes it was good and I can even say the philosophy is a little funny to me!

Hirak.

[Phonoho]

Yes, for those who aren't familiar with archaic words and obsolete pronouns outside of a church hymnal, their use can seem pretentious and quaint. In verse, though, they come naturally to me without having to reach for them. I try not to over-do it.

[Hirak]

That's not really what I meant. Well, you've used one archaic word, and not more. Where did that come from?

Your salt has taken - i'm wondering why it didn't occur to change that?

[Phonoho]

Less is more, as they say.

[colinbaker62]

I do believe that time will indeed 'tender each religion dead'. And for the ultimate good of humanity en masse.





Colin

[Lubesh]

rock on colin....

but, I mised this or ddin't get abck to it. But am here to give another plaudit for its sheer magnitude..and ur wriitng if not the same lol. Lovely also techncially, wordwise and more.