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03-11-2006, 05:12 AM
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This Irony
I'm sure that In his haste to build A world of consciousness God himself had vanished Beneath its own awareness. And muttered to himself "What irony I've bestowed"
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l S.M. Classroom l Logic/Reason l Free Expression l "Tyler is the sex..."l "All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become. " Buddha
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03-11-2006, 05:13 AM
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Re: This Irony
Its just a short piece I put toghether.
__________________
l S.M. Classroom l Logic/Reason l Free Expression l "Tyler is the sex..."l "All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become. " Buddha
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03-11-2006, 05:37 AM
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Re: This Irony
erm. read it a few times. it's actually....really good. Yeah....i like it. short and sweet, saying a lot in very few words. I'd like God to say that, like announce it to the world, just to see everyone's reaction. "GASP! it's the voice of God! What words shall you guide us with o Lord?"...'Ha! What irony I've bestowed"............"k".....i should stop saying stuff now...i'm er.....also gonna stop with the full stops,,,,,,,,,
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03-11-2006, 05:44 AM
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Re: This Irony
Ah... To me this does not flow like a poem at all. I really enjoy it when I read it as if it were a quote or statement. The language is intriguing enough to create a ceratin feeling- I think every one will feel different when they read this. To me it has little effect, being I have no feelings, thoughts or beliefs of God or any god for that matter. But Imagine what emotions might stir in some one who feels close to God. Anyways- good job with the idea and emotion.
__________________
The greatest word in the world is 'no'.
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03-11-2006, 06:02 AM
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Re: This Irony
I just threw it toghether and really has no real importance other than to deduce the question of whether or not god exists.
__________________
l S.M. Classroom l Logic/Reason l Free Expression l "Tyler is the sex..."l "All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become. " Buddha
Last edited by Laughing Man; 03-11-2006 at 06:03 AM.
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03-11-2006, 06:20 AM
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Re: This Irony
Uh, I don't really get this one, LM. I agree with ssb, that it doesn't really have a rhythm, and it is definitely more like a quote. Maybe adding some more to it to make sense for goosy would be a good idea...
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"We discover that all the poems and stories we've been posting either need commas, or don't have enough. I call her The Comma Fairy..." ~Phonoho
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03-11-2006, 07:35 AM
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Re: This Irony
I don't believe there is a God, is that what you wanted to hear? IS IT?!?!
 hell I don't know what I believe, whatever it is there's nothing I can do about it. oh well.
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03-11-2006, 08:23 AM
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Re: This Irony
I like it, it's like 'god' saying "shit,that wasn't meant to hapen'...I like it
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03-11-2006, 01:36 PM
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Re: This Irony
Lubesh that was exactly it...and it has rythm...reread...lol...but not all poems need rythm to express something.
__________________
l S.M. Classroom l Logic/Reason l Free Expression l "Tyler is the sex..."l "All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become. " Buddha
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04-11-2006, 03:06 AM
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Re: This Irony
Quote:
Nope,u can take this rhythm thing too far .it's a piece of work, ur work and a pretty good observation by god.lol
__________________
Did you know...points are up for grabs....just for entering... 250 - LIMERICK, CFPC, 55, EMWE, 1000 - TotM, 1000 WC 100 - VOTING IN A CONTEST POLL, YES, JUST VOTING! Comp/Challenges FFFC CFPC 1000-Word Challenge Limerick ToTM EMWE GQC
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04-11-2006, 03:33 AM
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Re: This Irony
I liked this.
When I first read it, I thought you were referring to God when you said "its awareness". (Ha, God is an "it"!) But then I realized that you had used "In his haste" further up. So, then I saw "it" as the world of consciousness. (I hope I got that right. )Now I will spend the rest of the day deducing exactly what the irony is. I know it's there, I just need to think a bit for the enlightenment to come. (And that's the joy of great poetry.) Nice one.
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04-11-2006, 03:41 AM
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Re: This Irony
Thanks bonne, your correct in assuming that its awarness was not of god...lol
__________________
l S.M. Classroom l Logic/Reason l Free Expression l "Tyler is the sex..."l "All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become. " Buddha
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06-11-2006, 06:17 PM
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Re: This Irony
haha well i think that was very well done LM made me think a little and thats what i like.
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07-11-2006, 03:10 AM
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Re: This Irony
Thanks stories just doing my part...lol
__________________
l S.M. Classroom l Logic/Reason l Free Expression l "Tyler is the sex..."l "All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become. " Buddha
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