[Phonoho]

Were I, if I were not
but one who sought to be,
to then become the me
who would not nothing be,
what, if not then, would I be
if I were naught
but one who ought to be?

Struggled to get my head round this one, nice going! You've confused the crap outta me! good 'un.

[Lubesh]

superbe little ditty and one to think about!

[Corneac]

Very Clever Phonoho...if you were trying to confuse me you suceeded

[NLuv]

niiice...wow hehe i like it

[Phonoho]

Thanks everyone. Hamlet struggled with this also

[sun_fier]

Hamlet - that was the first thing that popped in my mind after reading the first line. It's a little confusing for me but I liked the words and the way you wrote it. Great stuff

[Bluejay]

I like the way the sentence fragments overlay on top of each other. You have to suspend one to read another, then pop back and continue the one you suspended. (Ok, there's the computer geek talking.)

Simple yet complex at the same time - simple words in a complex structure. I like it! I will probably come read this when I want to stretch my mind a bit.

I think, therefore I am.
Naught I cannot be!

[roan54]

i had to reread it a bunch of times. and then i had to read it really slowly, totally breaking it down into lines and groups and words. you had me puzzling at my desk for a very long time. but its a credit to you that i actually sat there and tried to figure it out. its really good, or i wouldnt have made any effort. haha, im just that lazy.

[Phonoho]

Thank you, roan54. Honestly, I recommend reading it a total of 347 more times. That way, when you find yourself in the transitional period between this life and the next, just recall the question from memory and the answer will be revealed.

However, your brain will be rendered useless forever more...

[Aldo Rossi]

you ruined my night with this poem...took me a while to figure out.

[Masa]

Another clever poet? I fear I should leave since the confusing poet's position has already been filled!

Awesome, man, generally, constantly requires time and constantly talk about what is their identity, what makes you different from me, and myself different from another, is only found through much questioning and soul-searching. I enjoyed this poem just because it made me question myself for who I am. Tata.

[Phonoho]

Originally Posted by Masa

Another clever poet? I enjoyed this poem just because it made me question myself for who I am.

No no, please don't leave on my account. There are other confusing poets here and I am but the least of them. As Popeye might say, "What am I? I am what I am!"

[Masa]

Oh really now, would I leave just because you've bested me at this one thing? No no, sir. I'm planning on staying here for a good long while!

[Phonoho]

I best no one,
nay, at the behest of no mans' son
shall I allow one
such as thee
to get the best of me.

[Subconscious]

haha, very nice...enjoyed reading this one...
not fond of seeing the title in the poem, but this was nicely constructed

[Phonoho]

Originally Posted by Subconscious

haha, very nice...enjoyed reading this one...
not fond of seeing the title in the poem, but this was nicely constructed

I guess about half of my poems, or less, contain the title or a word or two from it. I too prefer a stand alone title, but do not consciously make the choice. For me, the title comes, and that's it. I'm very grateful for your comments.

[in_absentia]

@phonoho: That's quite the complex poem there, but it's just the kind of thing I love to read. Simple as a child's rhyme and yet, I'll be buggered if anyone could figure that out completely during their first go at it.

I know what you mean about titles of poems. If you can get the standalone title, that's great, but it's hard not to force it. I personally don't like to title my poems because I'm afraid that the title will take away from the poem itself.

[Phonoho]

I title them mainly for my own reference purposes, a tag to differentiate one from another. A good dramatic title is sometimes nice though. Thank you very much for visit and don't forget to vote on the Challenges.