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19-03-2008, 10:39 AM
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Paint "It" Red
Paint the Whitehouse red
Marking its endless bloodshed Babies and Mamas lie dead Yes, paint the Whitehouse red And in the eye of the night When bombs take their final flight Cover your children cowered in fright And blame the house painted white And through the ivory doors Treaties signed declaring war Locked out the hungry and poor While the governor beds his whore Yes paint it blood red, crimson, ruby too Give the house its scarlet letter due For the impurities it holds true Yes, paint the Whitehouse a blood red hue
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"when one person suffers from a delusion it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called religion."
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19-03-2008, 12:47 PM
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Re: Paint "It" Red
colours.metaphors..nice, but for once...no metaphors..spade a spade lol. u paint 'it' and why not!
F ing good soz, but free speech.
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19-03-2008, 01:48 PM
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Re: Paint "It" Red
Right to the point. Reminds me of "Fortunate Son," the old CCR tune, the way it goes for the throat. Doesn't beat around the Bush (no pun intended!
 ) Excellent jab, Bri. (and I do mean "jab.")
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Last edited by Vorcla; 19-03-2008 at 01:50 PM.
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19-03-2008, 02:01 PM
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Re: Paint "It" Red
That was... powerful. You have done full justice to the feeling of frustration and anger. The rhyme scheme did not look repetitve at all. The words were nicely selected and I absolutely adored the last stanza. You references to the colour red stamped the images of bloodshed and gore deep in my mind.
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24-03-2008, 02:29 PM
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Re: Paint "It" Red
Thank you all very much! A bit more rhyme than usual out of me but it just came so I went with it!
__________________
"when one person suffers from a delusion it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called religion."
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05-04-2008, 05:46 AM
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Re: Paint "It" Red
I love this poem it's one poem i'll never forget the imagery is great I wish i had come up with it
 The part about the gov' and the whore is brilliant. Only problem I have with it is the babies and mama's line, I know what you mean but without giving us a specific example as to why their dead, it gives off a creepy vibe and not an angry vibe which is what i think you were going for in the poem.
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08-04-2008, 09:09 AM
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Re: Paint "It" Red
Hmm, I may rework that line. Thank you for pointing it out and for reading!
__________________
"when one person suffers from a delusion it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called religion."
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08-04-2008, 10:15 AM
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Re: Paint "It" Red
Wow!
Superb! I am much sadden that I didn’t respond to it before. Just a few inquires… 1. Are you certain of ‘cowered?’ Possibly… Quote:
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Right, I'll keep to the present but just take a glance at the past. Damn, is this poetry?
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08-04-2008, 10:58 AM
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Re: Paint "It" Red
Thank you very much Rena! Always a pleasure to see you review one of my pieces, and especially when you like it
__________________
"when one person suffers from a delusion it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called religion."
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