[Phonoho]

We are but invitees on a costumed ball,
all dancing here unknown,
searching for R.S.V.P.'s with some
who already have their own;
waiting for the guest of honor to arrive,
not knowing that he has since died
and left us here so alone.

Now here we sit, playing musical chairs
with those who would inspire
the ghosts of others who desire
to bring the party down,
and do still conspire to wear
our absent host's own crown.

[angel]

graceful piece phono. xcellent stuff

kel

[loosygoosy007]

This was such a unique poem. I loved the rhyming especially, because it was not defined. It flowed freely, and there's a nice comparison between dancing at a party and heaven. Lovely. I would only suggest perhaps splitting the poem into short stanzas only so that the rhyming could be a little more defined. Very impressed, Phonoho. Great to read your poems again.

[Phonoho]

Thanks, ladies. I wrote part of this before leaving for work and the rest on the way there. By the time I got home, the pieces had melted together and lost my intended stop. Thank you, loosy, for pointing out the need for one. It was rather difficult to recite in a single breath.

[Razor]

This is a stirring piece, especially the last two lines, which make me think of a usurp with someone trying to replace the old without anyone knowing. What you said in your "References" makes me think of the mask as usernames. The rhyme is good and the flow is nice as well. Nicely done.

[Lubesh]

eloquent and bordering on a surreal front ..nice phonoho.

Fantastic metaphor, I enjoyed this one thoroughly.

waiting for the guest of honor to arrive,
not knowing that he has since died
and left us here so alone.

Controversial. Love it.

[Masa]

Now here we sit, playing musical chairs
with those who would inspire
the ghosts of others who desire
to bring the party down,
and do still conspire to wear
our absent host's own crown

This was great. I love how you say one thing, and then turn on it and reveal what's really going on behind a character's mind and actions. I'm speaking for a lot of people out there when I say this piece will inspire a great many in the ways of the writing.

[Syrah]

Life is one great party and all are invited!!!! Now I love the ambiguity of this poem, leaving enough room for individual interpretation of it. A splendid mixture of fun and grace, with a commanding use of words. Only thing I may criticise here is that the first paragraph seems heavier than the second. Perhaps if you can add a line into the second things will balance out. Just a thought. Great job J

[Phonoho]

Loading.......Please wait.......

I could add a jukebox, have people fighting for control of it

A fatal, toxic confetti falling all around

living now in that holocaust unbeknownst to all

[Masa]

Oh gods I hate that... don't worry... It'll come through eventually... hopefully... possibly... maybe... somewhat.... chancy... perhaps... almost... soon... nearly... and.... UNPUT DENIED, HAVE A NICE DAY o.0;

[Corneac]

Haha. That was brilliant Junior. Witty and satirical, a lot of food for thought. Nice job mate.

[squattaz]

i sense a scoff at religion in:
the setting of piece i.e. life is a party
the 'costumes' i.e. life could very well be mardy gras or halloween
muscacl chairs, a trivial game symbolic of life (in the piece) i am guessing
along with the hint of competition for those 'searching for RSVPs'...

so if this is truly a scoff, does this belittle life, even if the author disagrees with religion?

[Phonoho]

Nothing of great import here, just a casual and abstract observation about Earth as an embellished rock (costumed ball), its occupants wearing variations of the same religion, all jockying to have their faiths validated by the arrival of a savior. Some are content with the festivities alone while others, tired of waiting for the party to begin, attempt to jumpstart a change with their own fundamentalist agenda.
This was not intended to state my own views but to represent the opposing views of us all.

[Gurdit]

I didn't want to read the comments before forming my own interpretation of this poem. Had I read your last comment, I would probably have saved you time from having to explain certain portions of this poem to me

Now that I have a much better idea what this poem is about, I must say it's fantastic. Your skill with metaphors is astounding.

[Phonoho]

Thank you, tidruG. I very much enjoyed our conversation and am flattered that you took the time to question me about its meanings.

[Jackson]

I truly enjoyed this piece. Amazing metaphor. I think of some of the best work I have read over the years, and this is definitely an amazing piece compared to them. Reminds me of a Jars of Clay song, and anything that reminds me of lyrics written by a band who is extremely well versed in the english language must be good. Fantastic work.