[Phonoho]

Today's impersonal bullet
gives Man little chance to mete out death
in proper blows,
to aggravate the warring
muscle to greater growth,
nor stain his righteous hands
in the guts of evil men

We listen, yet not with ears,
ignore our greatest sense to hear
the smack as iron and flesh divide

Still, we fight, as if we know why,
indiscriminate, even as they die
who have not wronged us,
only made us chafe
at the rising cost of luxury

[Gurdit]

Corno calls you Junior. It's tempting, but I think I'll call you Senior instead

So, Senior, finally I read another poem from you. Well, what was I expecting? Something brilliant again. Was I disappointed? No.

See, the thing is... I liked the poem. I think I even understood it. But I don't quite know what to write as a review or a critique of the poem. In the process, I almost closed the page without writing this comment. But if I did that, how would you know that I've read it and liked it?

PS: It made me think.

[Lubesh]

I know my limits like tid half the time, but likewhat i see when I see it..appreciate and enjoy even..again outstanding. You could waffle for me, but your use of words always empowers said waffle....even then you don't lol

[Venomous Vixen]

I truly enjoyed this. "impersonal bullet" caught me right away, and as usual, I could not find fault in your form or flow so a proper critique becomes rather hard to deliver. Instead - you shall get my ramble I enjoyed the thought process here, back to the more archaic and honorable ways of battle, and the images that brought forth. The listening/ear stanza was also very well done, and a powerful message there. The only thing is I am not sure how you intended this to be received... at face value or as a deeper metaphor for society as a whole. Perhaps a bit of both... clever blend indeed.

[Rain]

You know this was so out of my league I nearly didn't post in it(like Gurdit said) but all I can give you is my praise because this was aboslutely brilliant. Complicated, but understandable all at the same time. So complex I reread it to understand it a little better... even though it's still quite difficult. I can't say much besides what I just did, terrific job, Phonoho.

[Nupur]

This is something different from you, and yet, it too has the same flavour, depth and attractive quality that the rest of your poetry has. You just gave a touch of assonance, I’d have loved more of it, but again, I wouldn’t change a thing about this poem. Well executed rhymes. I love all your work, and this is no exception. Nice attack in the first stanza. Second stanza onwards, you gave it a more generalized flavour by putting everything in first person using ‘we’, and that really worked for me. Great ending lines. I love this one.

[Phonoho]

Very kind words, thank you. I didn't expect such a response to this. It occurred to me the other day at work (while listening to some godawful black metal, no less) how war, as Man has known it for thousands of years, is no longer up close and personal. We no longer have to see an enemy, or even prove that he actually is one, it seems. We can just blow him to smithereens from the comfort of a well appointed Man-cave. Much like a video game.
I jotted this down to work on later, but found it resisted my attempts to reshape it, allowing only a few additional lines. A little different, true, but I throw nothing away. I've been trying to lessen my dependence on hard, patterned rhyme by keeping them oblique and sparsely placed.

"Wood and leather, club and shield, swept like a wave across the battlefield."
Iron Hand by Dire Straits