Every time I look at him,
I think of ice;
Ice that can shape mountains
and worlds.
His gaze can freeze,
make his enemies shiver,
make me quiver,
make me weep.
I, who let nothing daunt me,
am chilled by the frigidity in his eyes.
Hard as a stone,
yet as fragile as glass,
crystalline in perfection,
but flawed by opaqueness.
I see him with diamond clarity,
to the cracks within,
caused by pressure and stress
which mar his soul.
I want to be engulfed by him,
covered by the blanket of his icy stillness;
until I wake,
refreshed,
rejuvenated,
bolstered by his coolness,
quenching the flames of my desire.
Of all my battles,
and all of my foes,
he is, and always has been
the one I could not,
would not,
conquer.
My true match,
my greatest rival,
my greatest desire;
he is my prince.
He has slowly enured himself into my life,
plucking out the despondency,
moulding my shape,
smoothing my rough edges;
I have been changed by him,
From the striations on my heart,
to the glacial stillness of my soul;
I have been formed anew.
He fills up the cracks,
ones I didn't know existed,
expanding them,
eroding them,
breaking them away;
forcing me to improve my defences,
else he will wear me away,
until there is nothing left.
With him by my side,
I am invincible.
He complements me,
completes me.
He is strong,
where I am weak.
Only he can satiate my burning lust,
for life,
and for him.
Nereus, my prince of Ice.
Wow - your word usage and word choice is exquisite here, as is your imagery. I like the paradox, the approach/avoidance. The contradictions drive this. Man, you're getting into the same league with Bri and Lu and Syrah now, hun. Great job!
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"I wanted revenge - whenever somebody kills me, I tend to get a little upset..."
Very tricky but once i got into this my dread of milking the metaphor and object was washed away. Just excellent your language so well meted out and kept the thing together.....I disagree with rick, You have always been there, if I can say that.
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Chilling! Your imagery so precise; emotions so conflicting but stinging with life and its so many contradictions. And the execution, though I know very little of poetry…is impeccable!
One question…
Quote:
I, who let nothing daunt me,
Shouldn’t it be…I, who (lets) nothing daunt me, ?
Also, what is ‘enured?’
Is it an English spelling without the ‘E?’ Inured to be come accustomed to something undesirable?
I give a rating of 4/5!
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Thanks a ton, Rena! Enure is a variation of inure. And the other thing you stated, it's past tense, but I'll definitely look through it again. Thanks very much. Always love your comments.
I want to be engulfed by him,
covered by the blanket of his icy stillness;
until I wake,
refreshed,
rejuvenated,
bolstered by his coolness,
quenching the flames of my desire.
Do you know why this part is so fantastic?
Because for one thing, it all falls in place like a jigsaw puzzle. The entire poem revolves around ice, something cool, softly blue and wonderful. And then to put that wonderful colour and that wonderful "temperature" between the sheets. Possibly, for me, it's even more magical because I like things cold...especially in India...cold weather, cold rain, etc. To create a magical fantasy picture of making love between the sheets...and every touch being cool, etc. etc.
Add to that the killer last line...the part about the flames of desire...see, that's how it all fits in, like a jigsaw puzzle. It's like those lines were made for that metaphor, which was made exclusively for this poem. (Ha, I'm an idiot...this is the basis of poetry, of course...but too often, we seem to take the basis for granted even when it's so beautifully constructed as this).
Also, the rest of the poem is beautiful as well. I just had to comment on this because we were chatting about it.
__________________ And everybody's got a right to a will to want to live
And a right to want to die
Thank you very much. When this was written, it had nothing to do with sex, but I see how you can read it both ways... specially the part about filling up cracks. lol. Love you, Tiddy Bear. Thanks a ton for commenting. <3
I never saw this one! So now I'm going to remedy that...thanks for bringing it back to the surface. ^_^ Really, I can only echo what others has said. The ice metaphor never felt forced, and the paradox of diamond-like perfection/flaws like cracks in ice is just lovely, not to mention the complex dynamics of this relationship that you build so well in such a short poem. I feel like I understand their relationship, or at least recognize some of its contradictions, and that is SO difficult to achieve. Absolutely excellent. ^_^
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Your battles inspired me - not the obvious material battles
but those that were fought and won behind your forehead.
Re: Ice
Linear Mode
