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Old 28-07-2008, 09:43 PM
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Ice

Every time I look at him,
I think of ice;
Ice that can shape mountains
and worlds.

His gaze can freeze,
make his enemies shiver,
make me quiver,
make me weep.

I, who let nothing daunt me,
am chilled by the frigidity in his eyes.

Hard as a stone,
yet as fragile as glass,
crystalline in perfection,
but flawed by opaqueness.
I see him with diamond clarity,
to the cracks within,
caused by pressure and stress
which mar his soul.

I want to be engulfed by him,
covered by the blanket of his icy stillness;
until I wake,
refreshed,
rejuvenated,
bolstered by his coolness,
quenching the flames of my desire.

Of all my battles,
and all of my foes,
he is, and always has been
the one I could not,
would not,
conquer.

My true match,
my greatest rival,
my greatest desire;
he is my prince.

He has slowly enured himself into my life,
plucking out the despondency,
moulding my shape,
smoothing my rough edges;
I have been changed by him,
From the striations on my heart,
to the glacial stillness of my soul;
I have been formed anew.

He fills up the cracks,
ones I didn't know existed,
expanding them,
eroding them,
breaking them away;
forcing me to improve my defences,
else he will wear me away,
until there is nothing left.

With him by my side,
I am invincible.
He complements me,
completes me.
He is strong,
where I am weak.
Only he can satiate my burning lust,
for life,
and for him.
Nereus, my prince of Ice.
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Old 29-07-2008, 01:38 AM
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Re: Ice

Nup's back! Cool!

Wow - your word usage and word choice is exquisite here, as is your imagery. I like the paradox, the approach/avoidance. The contradictions drive this. Man, you're getting into the same league with Bri and Lu and Syrah now, hun. Great job!
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Old 29-07-2008, 03:03 AM
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Re: Ice

Very tricky but once i got into this my dread of milking the metaphor and object was washed away. Just excellent your language so well meted out and kept the thing together.....I disagree with rick, You have always been there, if I can say that.
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Old 29-07-2008, 04:58 AM
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Re: Ice

That's very high praise, Rick and Anita. Thank you very much.
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Old 29-07-2008, 08:45 AM
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Thumbs up Re: Ice

Chilling! Your imagery so precise; emotions so conflicting but stinging with life and its so many contradictions. And the execution, though I know very little of poetry…is impeccable!

One question…
Quote:
I, who let nothing daunt me,
Shouldn’t it be…I, who (lets) nothing daunt me, ?

Also, what is ‘enured?’

Is it an English spelling without the ‘E?’ Inured to be come accustomed to something undesirable?

I give a rating of 4/5!
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Old 30-07-2008, 12:15 AM
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Re: Ice

Thanks a ton, Rena! Enure is a variation of inure. And the other thing you stated, it's past tense, but I'll definitely look through it again. Thanks very much. Always love your comments.
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