Closed Form PoetryIf there is a definitive conclusion, and the poet decides to use a specific pattern, such as meter or rhyme, the form will take on what is known as closed form...
I sit here waiting
For a call that never comes
A fate that's not mine
A slave to her whims
I seek the key to my chains
To release myself
__________________ "I like to write in the night, when everyone is asleep and I can hear the silence reverberating like an audio feedback. That is because I need the quiet to get into myself and open the doors to the noise in my head." - Me
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"But words are things, and a small drop of ink,
Falling, like dew, upon a thought, produces
That which makes thousands, perhaps millions, think."
Despair seems to be the theme of your poetry, Jir. No-win situations. I hope your day-to-day is not so difficult.
Still, great work. The last line seems a little disconnected from the verse as a whole. I can interperet its meaning, but it does not flow as well as the rest of it. I can't see a solution, but if I think up a possibility, I'll let you know.
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"You didn't come into this world.
You came out of it, like a wave from the ocean.
You are not a stranger here."
~ Alan Watts
epsi, i hadnt realised that there was this central theme until you mentioned it. i am surprised myself. but nah, my life isn't so bad yet. it can always be better still.
i took a look at that last line. nothing comes to mind for now, but i'll think of something, i am sure. i think it's the word "beyond". it somehow doesnt fit.
[edit]I changed the last line. Thanks for all the comments, RK.
__________________ "I like to write in the night, when everyone is asleep and I can hear the silence reverberating like an audio feedback. That is because I need the quiet to get into myself and open the doors to the noise in my head." - Me
I was attempting to find the line I loved the most or the line I felt expressed the most feeling. Yet, I am at a loss to find just one. Very well done. This has become a personal favorite.
thanks to storiesmaniac and blissfullyblind for the comments. i read now and i cant regurgitate the feeling. but hey, it's just as well.
__________________ "I like to write in the night, when everyone is asleep and I can hear the silence reverberating like an audio feedback. That is because I need the quiet to get into myself and open the doors to the noise in my head." - Me
thank you guys. totally appreciate the comments. gig, metaphorical of course!
__________________ "I like to write in the night, when everyone is asleep and I can hear the silence reverberating like an audio feedback. That is because I need the quiet to get into myself and open the doors to the noise in my head." - Me
Linear Mode
