[Alex]

Speak for yourself,
the finished now is death.
Flee as your heart beats,
You will run out of breath.

Do you think I asked for this?
the killing wasn't here.

Will it for the mask I brake,
No, will it for the task I take.

Is this the end?
Will the end become my friend?

For an ally is such,
this war is not too much.

We fight for nothing now,
We steal for all and weep for the ones.
All who are dead,
All who have won.
All that have cried,
For the loss of the sons.

It's a trick, as many say,
Is it a legend?
Will it, this day

This day, it's a lie,
And for all who have died.

Stay afraid you have the right,
Death to them was this fight

[Nupur]

Hey Alex! Good poem you have here, but it could do with a lot of work. You have made spelling and punctuation errors. Punctuation in poetry is subjective in a lot of places, so you're free not to accept those suggestions for edits.

Run as your heart beats,
You will run out of breath.

The repetition was a bit of a turn off. Try to replace one of these.

Do you think I asked for this,

It's a question you're asking. Please don't be scared of punctuating poetry. Use a question mark wherever appropriate.

the killing was'nt here.

Apostrophe in the wrong place. It should be wasn't.

No will it for the task I take.

A comma after No will be good.

Is this the end,
will the end become my friend.

Again, that's a question you're asking. It's perfectly alright if you like it the way it is, but grammatically there should be a question mark.

All who is dead,

All who are dead,

Plural.

All who has won.

All who have won.

Plural.

All that have cryed,

Spelling error here. Should read 'cried'.

Its a trick, as many say,

Should be It's. Put the apostrophe in. It stands for 'it is'. Its would show possession.

is it a legend,

Question mark.

This day, its a lie,

Again, it should be it's. Apostrophe needed.

It was a good effort and I'm glad to see that you keep writing.

[Alex]

Thank You, I had quite a few this time. I guess I got so wrapped up in writing it I forgot to check spelling.

[Alex]

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