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Old 11-04-2008, 12:11 PM
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The Burning

The sky is dark in this world of hate,
This unbeaten comes,
Only one man will scream.

Walk to the hilltops, stand against the breeze,
Understanding is one thing, knowing is another entirely.

And if you never see the light of this broken life,
If you fail to find the truth of it all,
You will find 'the broken' of the Fall.

When the day is done, my battles have been won,
And this ripped up parchment has been mended to the touch.
I feel that you should cry,
Not scream but merely lie,
For this day when all is well,
you, surely, will now die.
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Last edited by Nupur; 13-04-2008 at 12:57 AM.
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Old 12-04-2008, 07:06 AM
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Re: The Burning

Pretty good, Alex. Nice poem you got there! Just a couple of edits.

Quote:
You will find the broken of the fall.
Maybe I'm think, but I didn't really understand what you meant here.

Quote:
Not scream but merely lye,
Lye? Did you mean something else here? 'Lye' means caustic soda (sodium hydroxide).

Again, lovely poem. Dark indeed.
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Last edited by Nupur; 13-04-2008 at 12:57 AM.
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Old 12-04-2008, 02:32 PM
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the feather-tailed beast
 
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Re: The Burning

Thank you, I edited it to help people understand, but I might not get through still. The broken of the fall is what I meant to say. In the edit for lye, I meant to say lie as in to tell something that is not true.
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Old 23-04-2008, 11:33 AM
Alex's Avatar
the feather-tailed beast
 
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Location: Alabama
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Re: The Burning

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