[A.V.H]

Crimson blood
to smear upon their fates
Screams of pain
dying away with their bodies
From man
the Beast will be born
And from man
the Beast will arise

The Beast
with teeth and claws as sharp as swords
Ripping, shredding
Listen to the sounds
of torn humanity
Listen to the sounds of
the Beast at work

The Beast
will paint the infinite skies
with darkness
Shining but can never conceal
the Hell within it
The Beast will roar, and spread gore
and will want more

And by the end
of the Beast's rampage
Women and children
in black
Blood of no colour on their cheeks
A never healing scar
Behold the Beast
Known as war

[dearest]

Welcome to SM, and what a great first impression! Your language and word choice are very strong, and you create some great, vivid images:

The Beast
will paint the infinite skies
with darkness

The repetition in the last four lines of the first two stanzas is also great, though I wish that would have been continued in the third and fourth stanzas. You already know what I think of the third stanza ^_^. I really think you should rethink that rhyme. Still, all things considered, you've done an excellent job. Again, welcome, we're glad to have you.

[Blink]

Originally Posted by A.V.H

Crimson blood
to smear upon their fates,
Screams of pain
dying away with their bodies
From man,
the Beast will be born,
And from man
the Beast will arise.

The Beast
with teeth and claws as sharp as swords,
Ripping, shredding,
Listen to the sounds
of torn humanity,
Listen to the sounds of
the Beast at work.

The Beast
will paint the infinite skies,
with darkness
Shining but can never conceal
the Hell within it.
The Beast will roar, and spread gore,
and will want more.

And by the end
of the Beast's rampage
Women and children
in black,
Blood of no colour on their cheeks.
A never healing scar,
Behold the Beast
Known as war

I just gave it some punctuation edits to help the flow as you can see. I really liked the choppiness of this poem, I also loved the powerful ending, that was a cherry on top, a giant delicious cherry. Nice job.

[Peppy]

Thank god you ended the poem like it did. I thought this was some religious poem or something in those lines. The Beast automatically clicks in my head as the Beast mentioned in Revelations.

Wait. Hmmmm... Nevermind.

There's some good imagery in here and symbolism involved. It was pretty demented to think about them, but your point came through nicely, to me anyways.

[Vorcla]

Nice. Strong images, great words. Little twist at the end really makes it. I was going through the poem thinking the Devil (visions of "666" dancing in my head! ), and then your little revelation that it was War. Interesting.

Although some people equate War with the Devil...