[lizmarienv]

Cutting, deeper, harder, faster
Cutting deeper pleases the master
Bleeding, flowing down the drain
Masking, shutting out the pain

Hide the scars, hide the cuts
Cry the tears, this is nuts
Long sleeves in the heat of July
Pants in August they don't ask why

Mommy, don't you hear my screams?
Maybe it only happens in my dreams
Teacher, don't you see my pain
Is my acting out all in vain?

Many questions from my shrink
This one makes three hundred I think
Asking if I'm suicidal
Questioning if I'm homicidal

A week in the hospital will do you well
A week in the hospital will be hell
Surrounded by girls who don't like to eat
All the way there crying the backseat

To Sacramento we shall go
Through the rain, sleet and snow
Heritage Oak, the children's ward
The only place we could afford

The first night locked in a padded cell
When I had to pee I had to ring the bell
Watched in the toilet and in the showers
A suicide watch for 24 hours

I couldn't leave, I couldn't smoke
Life was restrictive in Heritage Oak
I couldn't have a toothbrush or hairbrush
No eyeliner, mascara, lipstick or blush

One video game everyone played
Being alone at night made me afraid
The girls in the ward all sat and glared
A loser I was, they all declared

Finally my last day in the ward
Filled with drugs that I had scored
I had problems they couldn't have solved
I lied to everyone involved

They thought I was healthy, that I was fine
But my mental state was on decline
They took me home with a faded wound
I would have to start school again soon

My boyfriend at the time told everyone
Returning to classes wasn't much fun
My alcoholic teacher tried to share his tale
About rehab, the hospital and jail

This didn't help, I had lost my will
It seamed like life had gone downhill
I stayed at home pretending to be sickly
But my mom caught on way too quickly

Years have passed but I still bare the cross
Of days past that I felt anguish and loss
Life is so much better now that I'm older
My teenage years couldn't have been colder

[JirQUEST]

*can we have a title to this?

[gonzoadrenaline]

Holy crap. I was all like this is sooo E-mo, but I read the whole thing at it's so gorram powerful. I don't know if I even knew all this! Wow, sweety.

[lizmarienv]

I think I may have been Emo in high school if Emo was around back then, lol

[Vail]

I have probably said this way too much.. but I despise rhyming. At first, all I could think was... wow.. this rhyming is super forced. But then the poem is so long.. and it somehow all fits.. and I'm left thinking. Wow, I'm a dick. So.. yeah. On to the actual review.

Definitely a personal tale, as our many of the writes poets put to pen. You were baring an obviously younger you or someone you know. Strong emotions conveyed throughout. I thought it was 'funny' how you put the girls who don't eat. I know quite a few young ladies whom are here in Denver at the children's hospital for just that reason. There are quite a few of them actually. Meh, it just struck a chord... Umm.. it read well, as most rhyme-schemed poems do.. had a decent flow, your syllable count and line length only waiver a little here and there, and the work is long enough that it masks the few hiccups very well.

In my opinion this isn't exactly amateur verse poetry.. but I'm not an admin or an editor so I can't do anything about it.

Oh, one little 'cosmetic' error. Second to last stanza, second line: seamed should be seemed

Thanks for sharing.. pretty good effort. I think this goes a little deeper than "Emo" but that's just me.