[EternalPen]

NOTE: I like people to get what they will out of my poetry and stories, but I felt this needed a bit of an explanation. I recently over-dosed on Naproxin to a VERY painful (But not life-threatening) point. This Poem expresses the relation between the pain I felt, and the only way I knew how to described losing someone dear to you. Of course, emotional pain is much worse, but this was as close as I could get to capturing that emotional pain.

I once tried to write
What I had felt,
But no description
Could be accurately dealt.

So I gave up
Sighing, "Oh, well..."
But today was different
Today, I can tell.

I took a few pills
To ease my aching head,
But took a few too many
And nearly dropped dead.

My stomach was bleeding
scraped and raw
And that feeling inside
Made me drop to a crawl.

I wanted to die
To put a bullet in myself
Because of the pain
From the medicine shelf.

That's how it feels
To take too many pills
And that's how it feels
To wish for gills.

Because I'm drowning now
From a pain inside,
But not from my stomach
In my heart it resides.

[Enreg]

I didn't get the poem at first. I understood it, but I couldn't see the connect to your note above. Until I read it a few times and saw it in the last set. I get that the pain you felt was along the lines of what you felt as you lost that person. Maybe not exactly, but still...

I have to quote the set. I <3 it ever so.

Originally Posted by EternalPen

Because I'm drowning now
From a pain inside,
But not from my stomach
In my heart it resides.

[EternalPen]

Thank you very much, Enreg!!

Yeah, I was trying to match a physical pain with emotional.

Originally Posted by EternalPen

I once tried to write
What I had felt,
But no description
Could be accurately dealt.

That still rings true, no matter WHAT my poem said, but the pain inside I felt sure helped me see it a bit better in writing terms. I tried. ^_^

[Rain]

You know my feelings on this poem because I got EXCLUSIVE ACCESS! But yeah, good job, and I'm happy you're feeling better

[EternalPen]

Haha, thank you, Altair! Exclusive access to an excessively awesome member.

[Vail]

Well EP, on a completely emotionally detached level, not a bad piece. It's very simple in nature, and that helps it fit into a rhyming flow nicely. Normally I hate rhyming, but in pieces such as this, it lends itself nicely. You've got great flow, and the story you tell is painted fairly well throughout. Your little note at the top helps flesh out what's going on within a bit more. I actually went and looked up Naproxin and what it can do to you if you overdose. I had no clue it was just Aleve.

Umm.. on a completely twisted note, if you're going to overdose on a pill, you should probably pick one that just causes you to pass out and die, as opposed to one that eats away your stomach lining giving you ulcers...

Umm.. good piece, wouldn't say great as, aside from the emotional value, has no real aesthetic depth to it. Great effort though, and really nothing wrong with it. Thanks for sharing.

[EternalPen]

Yeah, when you wanna die you just want it over, you don't care how.

thankfully, though, I'm not at that point anymore.
thank you for your input! ^_^

[CryCandice]

i like this one, but i feel it's too short.

try adding more detail to the pain, drawing it out, and telling us exactly what you fealt.
i'd like to read that. : )

[Alex]

This was a good post and I understood the connection of pain that was felt. Nice job.