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Re: When I Die
Wow, 0 posts, I rule!
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In the face of change, That's when she turned to me and said, "I'm not sure anymore..." Everchanging... |
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Re: When I Die
Quote:
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Re: When I Die
yay, thanks Lu.
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In the face of change, That's when she turned to me and said, "I'm not sure anymore..." Everchanging... |
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Re: When I Die
I really liked how seems as if you let the poem take you where it wanted. It gives a good sense of the mentality that is there at the final moments. I do think that you let it run a little too long and you should either tighten the poem up a little bit. At some points, you don't really elaborate on the initial points and I'd really like to see you take things another step further so that the poem is surprising to the reader.
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I am, how you say, Russian Guyovitch! |
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Re: When I Die
I never wanna die. One of my biggest fears is getting old. lol anyways
I really enjoyed ur poem. I do agree with absentia though that you had let it run 2 long, but at the same time when I got to the end it felt like it was, unfinished. Overall though, nice work. I’m really enjoying reading your poems!
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Clementine: This is it, Joel. It's going to be gone soon. Joel: I know. Clementine: What do we do? Joel: Enjoy it. |
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