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Re: Realize
Spell it out? I think you just did, in straight forward language, perhaps at the expense of poetic voice. No real harm in that, one just gets to the meat of these sentiments a little too easily, as if it were, in fact, spelled out for them. Poetry readers, in my view, like to be seduced, lured toward comprehension in a roundabout way and left with the feeling that they may have missed something, thereby prompting them to read it again for a deeper meaning. Here, the pulse lies on the surface and in plain view. Perhaps that was your intent, and if so, then good job.
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![]() “It was the secrets of heaven and earth that I desired to learn”
Victor Frankenstein Last edited by Phonoho; 10-06-2008 at 10:14 PM. |
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Re: Realize
Yeah, it was my intention, I wanted it to feel as if I was actually speaking to the person in a real conversation, I don't really know how I did. Now for the spell it out... I should change that, I'll think of an ending right now
EDIT: Forgot a few things lol. I took away the bold type, and I found an ending. This one was really for venting reasons honestly. I like to vent through writing instead of talking it out with people . Thanks for taking this one, Phon.
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In the face of change, That's when she turned to me and said, "I'm not sure anymore..." Everchanging... Last edited by Rain; 11-06-2008 at 01:24 AM. |
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