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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 05-05-2008, 01:26 PM
Rain's Avatar
PicturePerfectBottledRage
 
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All On Me

*Not sure about this either, something that is on my mind a lot lately so I thought I'd put it into words... or as well I can. Don't hesitate to ask what/who it's about, because I have no problem explaining*


Don't worry
I am always here
Don't worry
There's nothing to fear

It's ok
That's what it'll be
It's alright
It's all on me

You're not leaving
No way in hell
You're not going
To leave me a hollow shell

She won't get you
She can't have you
She won't take you
She can't steal you

If so
I'm gonna break
If so
...For God's sake...

How can they do this?
Take you away
How can they do this?
Hurts more each day

Take you from your home
Take you from your family
Take you from your life
Take you from your happiness

Does she think she's justified?
To get to have you
Does she think she has the right?
This can't be true

Like I said
It's up to me
Like I said
It's all on me

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In the face of change,
That's when she turned to me and said,
"I'm not sure anymore..."

Everchanging...

Last edited by Nupur; 09-05-2008 at 05:02 AM.
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Old 09-05-2008, 07:53 AM
dearest's Avatar
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Re: All On Me

It would be great it you feel comfortable enough to explain the circumstances that inspired this. There's so much emotion, and whatever this is obviously very important to you. By the way, the piece is lovely; raw and emotional, and the fluid repetition is song-like and rhythmic. Wonderful.
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The fog comes
on little cat feet.
It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.
-Carl Sandburg
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Old 10-05-2008, 10:30 AM
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SM 's Roving Reviewer - Want a review then PM me.
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Thumbs up Re: All On Me

Impressive! I am surprised that you didn’t show me this before…the rhyme and raw human (betrayed) emotions…you illustrated it, all Marvelously! You have my 4/5!
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Right, I'll keep to the present but just take a glance at the past. Damn, is this poetry?


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Old 11-05-2008, 10:09 AM
Rain's Avatar
PicturePerfectBottledRage
 
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Re: All On Me

Thanks you 3
__________________
In the face of change,
That's when she turned to me and said,
"I'm not sure anymore..."

Everchanging...
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Old 25-06-2008, 03:54 PM
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Re: All On Me

I like it very much. I can feel it.
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