MemberPanel

ourSponsors

Google
   


Notices


Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 22-02-2006, 12:34 PM
Contributor
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 219
Total Points: 431.00
HUNNYBUNNY shows enthusiasm for the siteHUNNYBUNNY shows enthusiasm for the siteHUNNYBUNNY shows enthusiasm for the siteHUNNYBUNNY shows enthusiasm for the site
Never Coming Back

What I wouldn't give
Just to see your face
To hear you say my name
But you went away

Never coming back
Never saving me
All on my own you left me

Close the casket
Fill the grave
You took my heart
Now please take me

Never coming back
Never saving me
So I'll follow you
I'll take one too many

Just like you
__________________
The best poetry is born not written!
-------<@
*HUGS*
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 26-02-2006, 08:39 AM
loosygoosy007's Avatar
Resident Writer
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Maryland, US
Posts: 534
Total Points: 897.00
loosygoosy007 is becoming indispensableloosygoosy007 is becoming indispensableloosygoosy007 is becoming indispensableloosygoosy007 is becoming indispensableloosygoosy007 is becoming indispensableloosygoosy007 is becoming indispensableloosygoosy007 is becoming indispensableloosygoosy007 is becoming indispensableloosygoosy007 is becoming indispensable
Re: Never Coming Back

That was good, HB. Very sad, but very good.
__________________
"We discover that all the poems and stories we've been posting either need commas, or don't have enough. I call her The Comma Fairy..."
~Phonoho
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 27-02-2006, 06:11 AM
BookWhale***'s Avatar
wannabe poet
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Away from the world...
Posts: 1,651
Total Points: 2,139.00
BookWhale*** is becoming indispensableBookWhale*** is becoming indispensableBookWhale*** is becoming indispensableBookWhale*** is becoming indispensableBookWhale*** is becoming indispensableBookWhale*** is becoming indispensableBookWhale*** is becoming indispensableBookWhale*** is becoming indispensableBookWhale*** is becoming indispensable
Send a message via AIM to BookWhale***
Re: Never Coming Back

I agree with loosy goosy... there was a few rough spots, but they were'nt that bad
__________________
"But words are things, and a small drop of ink,
Falling, like dew, upon a thought, produces
That which makes thousands, perhaps millions, think."

- Lord Byron
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 01-10-2007, 07:00 AM
Reader
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Seattle
Posts: 6
Total Points: 74.00
superpararanger is a newbie at this point
Send a message via AIM to superpararanger Send a message via MSN to superpararanger
Re: Never Coming Back

Wow. I really liked that. Something I can fully relate to. Nice :]
Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 07-04-2008, 06:34 AM
Hazel's Avatar
Regular Reader
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Elizabethton, TN
Posts: 31
Total Points: 310.00
Hazel makes sure newbies feel at homeHazel makes sure newbies feel at homeHazel makes sure newbies feel at homeHazel makes sure newbies feel at homeHazel makes sure newbies feel at homeHazel makes sure newbies feel at home
Send a message via AIM to Hazel Send a message via MSN to Hazel Send a message via Yahoo to Hazel
Re: Never Coming Back

This was beautiful. I like how at first my assumption from the lines was that this other person had betrayed you, or the 'you' in the poem. A break up, lies, etc. But then with the last two lines the entire meaning of the poem shifted and I had to reread it. I love poems like that. Overall it was very poignant and veiled, and it flowed well. Nicely done.
__________________
"Those weak things that would scratch you do only stroke you." - Armand

"I am not your rolling wheels. I am the highway.
I am not your carpet ride. I am the sky..."
Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 11-08-2008, 12:35 PM
PaulJJ's Avatar
Valued Reader
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 74
Total Points: 1,526.00
PaulJJ shows enthusiasm for the sitePaulJJ shows enthusiasm for the sitePaulJJ shows enthusiasm for the sitePaulJJ shows enthusiasm for the sitePaulJJ shows enthusiasm for the sitePaulJJ shows enthusiasm for the site
Send a message via MSN to PaulJJ
Re: Never Coming Back

what a sad poem! I love it. I love the punch at the end.
__________________
Clementine: This is it, Joel. It's going to be gone soon.
Joel: I know.
Clementine: What do we do?
Joel: Enjoy it.
Reply With Quote
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 11-08-2008, 02:06 PM
Rain's Avatar
PicturePerfectBottledRage
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Ohio
Posts: 866
Total Points: 8,987.56
Rain is an Honorary memberRain is an Honorary memberRain is an Honorary memberRain is an Honorary memberRain is an Honorary memberRain is an Honorary memberRain is an Honorary memberRain is an Honorary memberRain is an Honorary memberRain is an Honorary memberRain is an Honorary member
Send a message via AIM to Rain Send a message via Yahoo to Rain
Re: Never Coming Back

Very sad... and it was a nice read. Good job.
__________________
In the face of change,
That's when she turned to me and said,
"I'm not sure anymore..."

Everchanging...
Reply With Quote
  #8 (permalink)  
Old 12-08-2008, 03:55 PM
Rudy's Avatar
Valued Reader
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 75
Total Points: 312.00
Rudy shows enthusiasm for the siteRudy shows enthusiasm for the siteRudy shows enthusiasm for the siteRudy shows enthusiasm for the siteRudy shows enthusiasm for the site
Send a message via Yahoo to Rudy
Re: Never Coming Back

Good poem, but to be honest, I found the part "I'll take one too many" slightly dissonant. Maybe it's just me. Otherwise, i think it's a very good poem. I like the 'never saying me" parts very much. Thanks for the nice poem.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
None



Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


All times are GMT +9. The time now is 05:04 AM. vBulletin Skin by ForumMonkeys. Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.1.0 ©2007, Crawlability, Inc.
Advertisement System V2.1 By   Branden
Copyright © 1999 - 2008, StoriesMania.Net


Love Systems | The Attraction Forums | Savoy

CreditCards | Loan | eBay | Loan | Credit Report