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Never Coming Back
What I wouldn't give
Just to see your face To hear you say my name But you went away Never coming back Never saving me All on my own you left me Close the casket Fill the grave You took my heart Now please take me Never coming back Never saving me So I'll follow you I'll take one too many Just like you
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The best poetry is born not written! -------<@ *HUGS* |
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Re: Never Coming Back
I agree with loosy goosy... there was a few rough spots, but they were'nt that bad
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"But words are things, and a small drop of ink, Falling, like dew, upon a thought, produces That which makes thousands, perhaps millions, think." - Lord Byron |
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Re: Never Coming Back
Wow. I really liked that. Something I can fully relate to. Nice :]
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Re: Never Coming Back
This was beautiful. I like how at first my assumption from the lines was that this other person had betrayed you, or the 'you' in the poem. A break up, lies, etc. But then with the last two lines the entire meaning of the poem shifted and I had to reread it. I love poems like that. Overall it was very poignant and veiled, and it flowed well. Nicely done.
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"Those weak things that would scratch you do only stroke you." - Armand "I am not your rolling wheels. I am the highway. I am not your carpet ride. I am the sky..." |
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Re: Never Coming Back
what a sad poem! I love it. I love the punch at the end.
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Clementine: This is it, Joel. It's going to be gone soon. Joel: I know. Clementine: What do we do? Joel: Enjoy it. |
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Re: Never Coming Back
Very sad... and it was a nice read. Good job.
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In the face of change, That's when she turned to me and said, "I'm not sure anymore..." Everchanging... |
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Re: Never Coming Back
Good poem, but to be honest, I found the part "I'll take one too many" slightly dissonant. Maybe it's just me. Otherwise, i think it's a very good poem. I like the 'never saying me" parts very much. Thanks for the nice poem.
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