[LullabyHearts]

History repeats itself,
she told me herself.
I told her,
yes, I told her;
it was not possible.

She feared for my happiness,
I only feared my innocence.
I told myself,
yes, I told myself;
Everything good was possible.

It would not matter
It's unable to shatter.
I continuously said,
yes, I continuously said;
it just wasn't possible.

[Venomous Vixen]

I really enjoyed this Steph. The structure was great, the "yes" reinforcing the voice of the person. The last line as well, ending on possible... even though it seems you have come to a decision it is not possible it still leaves the reader thinking of the possibilities... hehe

What else I loved is you captured what it is like for one person to try and warn another from their own experience but it just never seems to work. We all have to make mistakes on our own, no matter how much someone tells us... it does not sink in until you are living in it.

Anyways, really I love this. Glad you posted

[LullabyHearts]

Thank you, Bri. I think I'm beginning to get the hang of this poetry thing.

[Storiesmaniac]

Wow, id have to say that is pretty much one of your best poems steph that was great. It flowed well, and it read wonderfully. Hahaha it reminds me of a time my mother told me not to see this chick, and i ignored her, I knew better of course, but my mum was right. hahaha. Well done again.

[LullabyHearts]

Yeah this kind of goes with the whole Saturday Night thing...
...of course

I find it easier to write poetry from experience

And really? One of my best poems? Thats great. Really inspires me.

[BrokenParadox]

Great! ^_^

I love the repitition in every stanza with the "yes" I told, I told, I said.
Ah, this is why I missed this site.
Great job, Haru.

[LullabyHearts]

Thank you!

The whole "yes ..." was what I was most worried about. I am so excited it came off as well as it did!

[Mizurio]

this is a very nice poem, I like it. You did pretty much every thing well, i cant see any problems with it now. I loved the whole "yes" part

[LullabyHearts]

Yay. Thats fantastic. Thanks for reading.

[dearest]

Yay LH! And you thought this wasn't one of your better ones! I actually have to agree with storiesmaniac and say this is your best on the site. The yes does contribute to the strong voice of the the narrator (whoever 'I' is), the rhyme of lines 1 and 2 of each stanza helps bring it together, and overall it just a very nice, very controlled poem from you. Excellent work!

[LullabyHearts]

I think this is the one I am going to submit to that poetry contest

[Venomous Vixen]

Yes Haruna I have to agree. This one is very worthy of submission! Good luck and keep me posted on it

[LullabyHearts]

Most people get publish, its just a matter of submitting it.

[squattaz]

thats her job/ instinct though, despite your confidence which is great, i would listen to her, even though she projects herself unto you, whatever mistakes made in the past, you may fall victim to them (she thinks)...

i admire mama.