[jaziz69]

This piece contains adult content



Beauty way too beautiful and pure a word to bestow

on a bitch, whose purity is a stagnant pool, a flower

of putrefied petals having never achieved blossom, choked

by continuous consumption of material cons.



Voluntary.

Conscious.

Natural.



So she calls her Self gorgeous, “gorgeousness”:

A title which stills and spurs her transparent mind

with manipulative ideals that construct the core,

distorted

views of a muck visage, they form her image -

She Aspires.

She studies, studies and embodies;

all too well represents transcends and presents what is goddess, what is girl:

face – girl

body – girl

ass – girl

tits – girl

fuck - girl

fake tan, fake nails, fake eyes, fake attitude, Fake Soul



Look at me.

Give me admiration.

Give me respect.

Give me Luv.

i pity the girl.

[dearest]

You've made a great point here; that is often how girls are taught to think of themselves. It's really, horribly sad. And the worst part is, I know girls like this. Anyways, lovely piece. The varying form is very interesting, and I love that last line. Great work.

[BookWhale***]

I really like the style of this. You know what you're reading, yet you still have room for interpretation of the poem.

defininetly a nice read.

[Ferris]

There could be a whole can of worms opened here. I like the setup and the choice of words fit into what I would call a 'family' for things that relate to aesthetics (spl?).

I got both the shallow and the sarcastically 'classy birds' images in my head, along with lots of orange people!

Nice idea

Ferris

[Hirak]

Um, this one is tough for me. I haven't been much into modern poetry. But I see your point, though I'd personally prefer a different portrayal. The idea speaks for itself.

Hirak.

[jaziz69]

cheers for all the comments guys! i didn't really see it as modern poetry as such, but i guess it could be seen as such.
cheers again

[Venomous Vixen]

I can not even tell you what this one did for me. I think you just described someone who was in my life for over ten years, draining and exhausting and as superficial as the come. Even the word "luv", ack... flooded with images of her now. Pity is the perfect word, sometimes so much of it you can not tear away. This was an incredible piece, I truly have come to appreciate your writing and the risks you take with it!

[jaziz69]

thanks so much 4 that comment V.V. i wrote it when a certain 'material girl' (who's actually extended family) had a go at me, it was so damn pathetic.
It's amazing how people have responded to this piece, the samemkind of girl seems to come to everyone's mind, which i gues is pretty sad. So yeah, 'pity' really did seem like the perfect word.

What's kind of even more upsetting is that it's part of our culture; insecurity.

Thanks again
Jay