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Old 01-01-2008, 07:20 AM
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Please, have a seat

Some people assert themselves,
“I am who the fuck I am,”
While others get up from their chair,
and leave wrinkles in the upholstery,
that shift, lines, that ease with time,

but I offer up my seat to you,
my silhouette still pressed,
and I remain, half-assed, halfway,
not standing tall,
nor sitting down, relaxed,
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Old 08-01-2008, 05:24 AM
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Re: Please, have a seat

I am still trying to figure this one out. I think there is a lot more behind it than first meets the eye.

Quote:
Some people assert themselves,
“I am who the fuck I am,”
Well put, the ego and attitude... "fuck" nice use of it as well, blunt and perfect.

Quote:
While others get up from their chair,
and leave wrinkles in the upholstery,
that shift, lines, that ease with time,
Great contrast. The metaphor here is unique and works so well. The passive people who sometimes seem passed over or forgotten. Another thing I love about your work is the internal rhyme you sneak in there to really smooth out the flow... "lines, that ease with time"

Quote:
but I offer up my seat to you,
my silhouette still pressed,
and I remain, half-assed, halfway,
not standing tall,
nor sitting down, relaxed,
Now this is where I think I got a but lost. Are you becoming passive, stating you are passive and offer your seat to someone more assertive or are you stepping down from your high horse and mending your ways, a sort of compromise if you will?

Regardless, I enjoyed this one a lot. It was just the right length to get what you were saying across, and read just wonderfully aloud.
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