[Alex]

Living is a test, a test in itself.
Living is a bone;
it cracks under pressure
in the fissure of this lesson learned.

Living was one of them;
once upon time at least,
in this time for the broken, it relieves.

Many see it as the ripped.
In this fire that one has slipped.
Think to the core,
the inner fight of what is right;

They lie near dead on the floor,
peeking at the footsteps from up under the door.

Standing bloody and bruised,
You have lived through your death,
through your turmoil and your breath now begins to fade.

[Alex]

No posts yet?

[Peppy]

That was interesting. I thought the beginning was well done, except for this line:

once upon time at least,

It kind of flows uneasily. Plus, I keep saying, once upon a time at least,. Damn fairy tales.

I got two things in the ending. I thought it was contradicting and I thought it was someone giving up. Hmmmmm... Living is a test, ehhh.

[Alex]

thank you, I meant it to sort of contradict itself.

[Rain]

Hey Alex, this was interesting. At times it seemed to lose it's rythm, it's flow, and also the way you did the stanzas didn't help me with that. 4 3 4 2 3, now it works in some ways, but while reading through it the 2 kinda messed it up for me, but that's just me. I'm very picky with my stanzas lol, i like to go in the same pattern until maybe the end where I will make one last stanza different than the others or the rythm of the others. Again, I'm very picky.(that's just the way I do things, and a lot of people don't do it the way I do, so that's just me, don't listen to it lol) one more thing, you rhymed at 2 parts of this poem, but in no other places, intentional?

For the content, it seemed almost a darker side of the concept, which I liked, and you seem to be able to pull darker thing off pretty well, Alex. I really like the concept of this. Overall it was a job well done man, I like to see your stuff. Keep it up

[Alex]

Thank you, and it wasnt neccessarily intentional in the rhyming, it just seemed like what I put in made sense so I went with it.