[Corneac]

You’re in love with a metaphor,
the one I wrought for you,
a smiling comparison,
that you could never see through,

Comprehension eludes me
the subtle nuance of my voice,
do you see my hand – falter there.
do you see the glass of eyeballs
that counteract your stare,

You shout your love from rooftops
and call the metaphor’s name,
but fail to see what’s behind it,
like glass to me,
for I see, nay, live
in a world of poetry-

of the banal, that I call beautiful,.
the common, of the uncommon thread,
for how can you love what I’m saying
if you don’t understand what’s said,

[Nupur]

Beautiful. The first and last stanzas are absolutely awesome. The rhyme's wonderfully executed. You know my thoughts about the other two, but the second has kinda grown on me, I like it. Where the third one is concerned, just want to tell you that you set the beam too high with the first and second. But nonetheless, it's amazing. Love your poetry, and this is no exception.

[Corneac]

Thanks Nup...I dunno, I'd go back, but it sorta feels like fiddling with history. I love your comments...cheers!

[Venomous Vixen]

This one was sort of conflicting for me. I know you so well, and that makes it hard to be unbiased when it comes to your writing...

It seemed you want someone to understand you, your writing, the way you see the world but they can't... and if they can't see and understand such a large part of who you are, how can they ever truly love you...

on the other hand it seems almost like you paint this pretty picture and hide behind masks, and how is someone ever to get inside your world of make believe... how are they ever to love anything beyond the metaphor that you have created.

Besides that, this poem was very well executed, the flow, the rhyme, all subtle and never forced to where it just reads so well... something I envy about your work!

[Rain]

Chris, this was abosultely terrific. The flow seemed to come so easily and it looked as if you just wrote it down without stopping once to think of the next word because it came so naturally you didn't even have to. Word after word it just seemed to become a better piece as it progressed, and I wouldn't change a thing. Only the 3rd stanza wasn't very good for me, the start of it was very well done, but near the end it faded to not so good. All the others are terrific. Truly, fantastic, I really enjoyed this one.

Tay