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Old 10-04-2008, 05:01 PM
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Live it Well

Be poised,
know you're right,
have confidence behind your insight.

Be enthusiastic,
always smile,
because the good in life may take a while.

Appreciate,
life's endeavor,
because it will not be there to last forever.

Be determined,
have some goals to set,
because not everything you want is easy to get.

Be loyal,
stay true,
to the ones that have always been there for you.

Be passionate,
give it everything you've got,
Because life's too short to not take the shot.

Love,
like each day's your last,
so you have no regrets when your life has passed.
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Last edited by Phonoho; 12-04-2008 at 08:29 AM. Reason: removed category marker
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Old 12-04-2008, 08:46 AM
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Re: Live it Well

A little generic as for as proverbs go. You encourage these virtues simply and in plain language. I think they could use something a little more catchy, some revealing trick with the language to make these sayings more pithy and quotable.
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Old 12-04-2008, 03:23 PM
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Re: Live it Well

Yes, a little generic. But I appreciated the sentiment all the same. Close to the truth, ncie use of rhyme though. Fast-flowing, didn't trip me up. I suggest dressing it up a little more in originality...you've got the foundations set, knwo you just have to flex yolur poetic muscle and make it even bettter. Great, got lotsa potential.

Look forward to seeing more from you.
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Old 15-04-2008, 07:01 AM
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Re: Live it Well

Agree with the above. Dress it up a little, make it striking so that we stop and admire your point. I liked your rhymes, and there's scope for lots more here. Work on it. I'm sure you'll be able to improve this one and make it even better than it already is.
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Old 15-04-2008, 07:18 AM
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Re: Live it Well

I agree keep working on it. But it was good, very inspirational and upbeat. Good job, I can't wait to see morework from you
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Old 15-04-2008, 10:07 AM
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Re: Live it Well

I like it, but I do agree with those above me.
Your rhymes are cool, just tweek it to make em stand out more
just dress him up in a nice tux, and he'll dazzle us in his brilliance

keep it up
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Old 15-04-2008, 12:11 PM
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Re: Live it Well

Yep. u have a nice grasp as with your other stuff...simple and unassuming, which I like, but here you show a firmness, be it format and mechanics...expand and treat urself and us soon. But well done. Also, it depends on how long you have been at this - that I don't know and your aims and wants and liking for it lol But for what its worth...keep going!
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