[Bluejay]

[Note: I wrote this when I was 16. No, I won't do the math.]

Today I cried,
Only to wash away my sorrow.

Today I remembered,
Only to think about tomorrow.

Today I listened,
Only to hear what I'd spoken.

Today I loved,
Only to feel my heart broken.

Today I gave,
Only to receive from my giving.

Today I lived,
Only to die because of my living.

[Ryankia]

I like these types of poetry. Not only are they personal pieces, but they are easily applicable to those who read them.

[Phonoho]

This sounds to me like an English translation of some tribal chant. It has the repetitive structure and primitive language of a sage voice in ritual expression of spirit and cultural wisdom. Pastoral in its use of simple life lessons as guidance, almost ecclesiastical in its effect.
You may have written it when you were sixteen, but it reads like something older than all of us.

[Lubesh]

I scrapped my first post..but was right like phon said a maturity though simple at first glanc, rings out. Mind you we have witnessed your talents this is no surpise even at such a tender age.

[SeaN]

I like this one Jay. Seems to have allot of meaning in the face of its simplicity- and I felt like I could relate to each one of the stanzas in one way or another. I found the end slightly anti-climactic- as if I was waiting for some profound universal truth to surface in the final line- but nice work anyway! Thanks for sharing some old stuff man. (... or was it, "sharing some stuff, old man"? )

[Bluejay]

Thanks to all for your comments. I liked this one, too.

Well, Sean, death can be anti-climactic, yes. lol

And we do grow older every day, separate and yet together. I think I'm ahead, though.