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Oh! The Woe of the Cell Phone
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27-09-2007, 12:32 PM
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Oh! The Woe of the Cell Phone
Oh! the woe of the cell phone!
No new calls from you to me. When I looked at my phone, I thought it was you who called But I was wrong - I felt alone. It's sad, who really called, Because it was only my dad Pathetic? You guessed it - me. Oh! the woe of the cell phone! No new calls from you to me.
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"But words are things, and a small drop of ink, Falling, like dew, upon a thought, produces That which makes thousands, perhaps millions, think." - Lord Byron 
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27-09-2007, 02:38 PM
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Re: Oh! The Woe of the Cell Phone
hahah thats really sweet, I like it!
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27-09-2007, 02:44 PM
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Re: Oh! The Woe of the Cell Phone
awh, thanks sm.
but I'm mad that I just realized that my second stanza is totally screwed up, and I am against altering poems AFTER it is posted.
__________________
"But words are things, and a small drop of ink, Falling, like dew, upon a thought, produces That which makes thousands, perhaps millions, think." - Lord Byron
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27-09-2007, 03:07 PM
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Re: Oh! The Woe of the Cell Phone
bah change it! if you want but i like the second stanza
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27-09-2007, 05:19 PM
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Re: Oh! The Woe of the Cell Phone
ha, cute little piece, and I'm sure we've all been there
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28-09-2007, 05:14 AM
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Re: Oh! The Woe of the Cell Phone
thats all I can do is laugh at this one....I think the truth adds to its humor....good job
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28-09-2007, 07:39 AM
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Re: Oh! The Woe of the Cell Phone
awh, shucks, thanks guys!
...but is it TOO brutially honest?
__________________
"But words are things, and a small drop of ink, Falling, like dew, upon a thought, produces That which makes thousands, perhaps millions, think." - Lord Byron
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28-09-2007, 08:01 AM
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Re: Oh! The Woe of the Cell Phone
It's too...of the real world lol for me toomany words and no oomph i know it is lighthearted but u can always 'create' maybe.
Oh! the woe of the cell phone! No new calls from you to me. I frowned at my phone, Wrong number I felt alone. I smiled at my dad I frowned at my phone Pathetic? - me alone Oh! the woe of the cell phone! No new calls from you to me. Just adbbling for future reference....avoid bland wordy things that make u stay on planet earth.sometimes lol
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30-09-2007, 02:58 AM
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Re: Oh! The Woe of the Cell Phone
Yeah, I agree with Lubesh.
It's a really cute poem that you can give to your girlfriend to make her smile. But to make it a better poem that you can add to your collection of fine poems, you really ought to make the sentences less like how you would speak them. 
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30-09-2007, 07:07 AM
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Re: Oh! The Woe of the Cell Phone
First of all, tidrug, thanks for the comment.
secondly - I'm a straight girl. so perhaps you mean boyfriend.
__________________
"But words are things, and a small drop of ink, Falling, like dew, upon a thought, produces That which makes thousands, perhaps millions, think." - Lord Byron
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30-09-2007, 11:58 AM
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Re: Oh! The Woe of the Cell Phone
no no he meant girlfriend...
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Join A Challenge Today! Or i'll kill you
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30-09-2007, 12:56 PM
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Re: Oh! The Woe of the Cell Phone
Quote:
Although overall, the poem just didn't have too much going on for it. I think you should've added more of a deeper meaning. Like the phone call was the first call or something
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30-09-2007, 02:22 PM
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Re: Oh! The Woe of the Cell Phone
Quote:
 But since I'm a straight guy, I mostly ending up thinking about that in terms of "girlfriends". 
__________________
If you don't let me know that you've read my comment, I will probably stop commenting on your writing. Smile, and have a good day.
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01-10-2007, 02:37 AM
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Re: Oh! The Woe of the Cell Phone
storiesmaniac, you WOULD say that.
LH, thanks for the honesty. Hopefully my next poem will be better than the last two I've submitted.
__________________
"But words are things, and a small drop of ink, Falling, like dew, upon a thought, produces That which makes thousands, perhaps millions, think." - Lord Byron
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07-12-2007, 03:45 AM
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Re: Oh! The Woe of the Cell Phone
I love this. You have managed to complete it without any abstractions.
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08-12-2007, 08:22 PM
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Re: Oh! The Woe of the Cell Phone
wow...that was wonderful!
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27-06-2008, 06:19 PM
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Re: Oh! The Woe of the Cell Phone
hahaha i can relate to this poem. Although i personally like longer poems, maybe to really get into it, but i really enjoyed this poem any way.
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