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10-04-2008, 05:03 PM
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My Oath to You
If you are a budding flower,
I am your soil for your roots to hold. If you are a graceful butterfly, I am your cocoon to protect you. If you are a carefree bird, I am the nest to brace your descent. If you are a glowing sunset, I am your horizon to catch your fall. If you are my beautiful girl, I am the one you can count on. And since you are my entire world, I am the sun to light up your days.
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Anonomous Last edited by Nupur; 11-04-2008 at 08:45 AM. 
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10-04-2008, 10:56 PM
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Re: My Oath to You
This is lovely, Anonymous! Beautiful language and some wonderful thoughts in here.
I would advise you to recheck the order of the stanzas. Flowers, butterfly, bird, sunset, girl, world. This works better for me. I see more continuity with the order I have mentioned. However if you like your version, that's perfectly alright.  Once again, wonderful poem!
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11-04-2008, 08:39 AM
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Re: My Oath to You
Fixed.
I guess the girl can be after the sunset. It does make more sense.
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Anonomous
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11-04-2008, 08:56 AM
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Re: My Oath to You
That was very fine and filled with warmth and lots.....refreshing and lcuky girl.
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14-04-2008, 06:48 AM
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Re: My Oath to You
She was a lucky girl. Until she cheated on me. Haha. But it's all good.
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Anonomous
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14-04-2008, 06:53 AM
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Re: My Oath to You
Quote:
__________________
Did you know...points are up for grabs....just for entering... 250 - LIMERICK, CFPC, 55, EMWE, 1000 - TotM, 1000 WC 100 - VOTING IN A CONTEST POLL, YES, JUST VOTING! Comp/Challenges FFFC CFPC 1000-Word Challenge Limerick ToTM EMWE GQC
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14-04-2008, 12:03 PM
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Re: My Oath to You
You stated…If you ‘are,’ I think it should be ‘were.’
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 My rating 4/5!
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Right, I'll keep to the present but just take a glance at the past. Damn, is this poetry?
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14-04-2008, 01:35 PM
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Re: My Oath to You
I guess since she is part of my past that would make more sense. Haha. Will do.
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Anonomous
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15-04-2008, 09:57 AM
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Re: My Oath to You
ouch, well I'm glad you got past her.
This poem is very...pretty! (sorry, fo me that word just fit) I like it, it's very simplistic, yet it speaks volumes.
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10-07-2008, 11:27 PM
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Re: My Oath to You
If you are a budding flower,
I am your soil for your roots to hold. Beautiful. Very warm and so...honest :s Not sure what I mean by that haha The way it’s written, feels really heartfelt, very true to how you feel, or felt. There’s plenty of fish out in the sea. Hate it when people say that to me...but it’s true.
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Clementine: This is it, Joel. It's going to be gone soon. Joel: I know. Clementine: What do we do? Joel: Enjoy it.
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