[Bluejay]

[Note: I wrote this when I was 18. You too can find ghosts from the past if you write things down on paper...]

A dream becomes reality
And reality fades away.
Sight becomes a shore and sea,
And time a summer's day
When you and I first walked along
Beneath the crashing ocean's song
While seashells lined the way.

We marked the sand with footsteps light.
With joy clasped firmly in our hands
We moved toward day through ending night
That made its way to other lands
And other times on softened air
Unnoticed by us walking there.
Our world contracts as it expands.

Tomorrow's thoughts were distant then.
Time stood still for us that day
But, creaking, started up again,
For Fate would not be held at bay.
Too soon came our last embrace.
My world was gone without a trace
The day I saw you walk away.

My room is dark, the house is still.
The clock strikes two, unheard, unseen.
My vision leaves an aching chill.
I soften, cry in moonlit sheen.
It always hurts and saddens me
When dream becomes reality
And still remains a dream.

[Nupur]

Wow. Nice to see something you wrote such a long time back. It’s something different from whatever I have read of your work, and yet has the same emotional value. Nice structure and rhyme scheme.

I really like the first stanza because of these lines:

Sight becomes a shore and sea,
And time a summer's day

It’s a nice metaphor and something that made me smile.

While reading this, I would picture the scene you’re trying to create: two people waling together on the seashore. The way you have described it using your word choices gave it a sweetness and a nice romantic flavour.

Your ending is perfect.

When dream become reality
And still remains a dream.

Subject verb agreement?

I love the effect this line has on the poem. Amazing line… and amazing poem. Always a pleasure to read something from you and this is beautiful.

[Vorcla]

"He's a poetry man..."

I'm not - so I can't really comment on the intricacies of this poem. All that meter and rhythm and couplet stuff is beyond my ken. All I can say is that it was a pleasure to read and I enjoyed it immensely. Your images and the metaphors you employ are nicely executed.

Originally Posted by Bluejay;

Sight becomes a shore and sea,
And time a summer's day

As Nup stated, this is just a joy. I love those lines. Very nicely done.

[Bluejay]

Thanks much, you both. Those lines you called out were my favorite, too.

(Oh, and I fixed my verb confusion. Thanks for pointing it out. )

[lost_girl]

A dream of a reality past.

Nice.

[Bluejay]

Thanks.