[EternalPen]

To stay with me,
Forever undefeated,
It's all I ever wanted,
All I ever needed.

A smile on your face,
Is enough to make me glad,
A laugh escapes your throat;
I'm no longer sad.

You're everything to me,
Everything I searched for,
You're everything I love,
And still so much more!

I'm inspired by your eyes;
Yet I can't think when you're around,
Because I know you love me,
Still, this seems so profound.

I know I don't deserve you,
And I wish I finally knew,
What it was that made you say,
"I love you."

[Nupur]

Ah, this is sweet. Some very cute rhymes and nice, romantic poetry... something that you can show to the person you love and instantly make her smile. I love the thought behind this... pure, unadulterated love. The part about her eyes is beautiful and so is the ending. I was smiling when I read it, and I'm sure so will everyone else. Nicely done.

[EternalPen]

Thanks! I kinda posted in here in hopes of finding out if Hannah would enjoy it or not, and I guess I got my answer! Thank you! ^_^

[Rain]

Hey man, I'm not even gonna suggest anything for this because it's a personal poem, and you wrote it for you(her too). I love the passion, and the love you put into writing it. It seemed real, and that't what I like about your stuff, it's real, you write for you, and not for anybody else, which is what writers should do. Good job.

[EternalPen]

Haha, I wouldn't have minded the suggestions, but thanks for reading it anyway! ^_^

[Peppy]

Aww, dude, that's such a sweet poem. I got all teary-eyed, in a good way. It feels so honest and true. I'm not sure what else to say but this it great. I was expecting something overly sappy but I'm always proven wrong when I start reading.I should stop doing that.

Nice poem.

Sorry I can't be of more help to you on your writing.

[EternalPen]

Ha ha ha! That's all I needed. ^_^

[camiroxursox]

Sweet, good poem. I liked it very much; I don't really know if you should change anything about it. Keep up the good work!

[Blink]

Very sweet, you certainly defined young love, Eternal. Rhymes were nice, simple, but nice. Times... lost some flow, but I'm not one to speak I joined the site about 20 minutes ago . Very touching, heartwarming, it was just a pleasant read. Good job .