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22-11-2005, 01:18 AM
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Tonight
Just let me cry tonight
Just let me die tonight Just let me hide from my fright Let the waves come crashing down I'm tiered inside I'm weak inside Tonight the poison needs out Tonight I need your help Tonight I feel bad because of this I'm unsure of you I'm unsure of myself I'm unsure of everything I don't know what I'm saying I don't know why I don't want to cry But I know I need you I feel something I feel happiness with you But is it real Let me cry tonight Don't ask me again why When I say I don't know Just let me go Let me cry Just be quiet Don't make a sound Just hold me now Hold me now Hold me strong and firm Till the fights done And I sleep feeling nothing But your strong arms I'll be sorry if I ever hurt you 
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22-11-2005, 04:47 AM
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Re: Tonight
I'm tiered inside.....'tired' Enjoyable poem, heatfelt.
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22-11-2005, 11:26 AM
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Re: Tonight
This one has much better style than "fright". I, therefore, enjoy it much more. It displays emotions I have been all to familiar with lately and you spoke it well. Good work.
~DK ps:"fights" should be "fight's"
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Last edited by Dark Kitten; 22-11-2005 at 11:29 AM.
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29-11-2005, 05:58 AM
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Re: Tonight
I like it..it's sad though, but that's okay. lol
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16-05-2006, 06:49 AM
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Re: Tonight
I have read very few poems but this is one of the best I've seen. Good job.
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16-05-2006, 04:03 PM
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Re: Tonight
"I’m tiered inside" It's unlikely, but this could be the intended word. (tiered) As in having multiple levels inside.
I liked the structure with the blocks of "Just..." , "Tonight..." , "I'm..."
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30-09-2007, 12:59 PM
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Re: Tonight
Oh this most definitely would've looked nicer if you broke it up into a series of stanzas
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19-08-2008, 05:13 PM
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Re: Tonight
yeah this would have looked better if it was broken up. still a good read. nice work
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19-08-2008, 07:46 PM
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Re: Tonight
Tragic storyline, but really discriptive. I can see the couple, Although I suppose it doesnt have to be a couple, standing in the wreckage of a storm. There is a good portrayal of both genders; both are capable of causing pain and both are capable of forgiveness. great detail and imagry and condenced into so few words.
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