[CryCandice]

Pen and paper now hold the thoughts
That my heart keeps to know what it's got.
And this old notebook all the while,
Holds my captive tears and unborn smiles.
Oh, my mind knows a war rages
Between my heart and these pages,
And the feelings that don't come out right
With the rhymes that keep up this fight.

So how do I compose the lines
That show these feelings are mine,
Not just meaningless quotes
(Like the ones you and I wrote).
So just give me one chance
To make a final romance
Between these words and my mind,
To make a last shocking find.

Oh this old paper now holds the words
That flew from my heart like birds.
And this old notebook all the while,
Cried my tears and smiled my smiles.
And I'll give you just one page
To show this sad war that raged
From the words that put up a fight
'Cause of the rhymes that didn't come out right.

And this is how I compose the lines
That show these feelings are mine,
Not just meaningless quotes
(Like the ones you and I wrote).
So just give me one chance
To end this final romance
Between these words and my mind,
To make a last shocking find.

Oh, so now these are my ways
To show my quickness of phrase.
Thanks for that one last chance
To end this final romance
Between these words and my mind,
To make a last shocking find.

Yeah, thanks for that one last chance
But only I can end this romance.
And I'll take my dear, sweet time
With all of these wasted rhymes.

Author's Note: This is one of my favorite lyrics, so please tell me what you think of them.

[Nupur]

Hiya CryCandice! Welcome to StoriesMania! I see that you have already started posted comments on others’ work. That’s the way to go. Keep up the good work. Just a few more comments and we can get this up for you.

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me or any other staff member.

Again, welcome!

[Alex]

I liked it, you could really follow the...well...storyline behind the idea. It was a really good set of lyrics. I liked how you changed the chorus up in each line. Though its not uncommon, I just enjoyed the actual word changes, the substitutions you put in. Good job.

[Rain]

Hiya Candice! I really enjoyed this, it flowed very nicely I must say. And it was full of emotion, which I really loved. The only suggestion I can make, would be with the puncuation. Just little bits and pieces that can be fixed up here and there ya know? But for such a long set that's usually something that's gonna happen.

Like Alex said, I liked how you changed the chorus up each time, give it a little spice, like a lot of people do. But usually in songs they change it up by putting more vocals into it, but of course we can't really know what you have in mind with vocals, so changing it up really kept me interested once the chorus came through, if ya know what I'm sayin'. I liked it, good job

Tay

[CryCandice]

Ha, I'll sing it for you sometime.

(Actually, I'll sing a song, write it down, and then completely forget the melody. So, I'll improvise. : D )

[Rain]

Originally Posted by CryCandice

Ha, I'll sing it for you sometime.

(Actually, I'll sing a song, write it down, and then completely forget the melody. So, I'll improvise. : D )

Looking forward to it =D.

[CryCandice]

That is, if you look forward to bloodloss due to shattered ear drums.

[xtremelady]

At first I found it difficult to pick up the rhythm...once i had - then this flowed real nice add quite a bit of vocal range and I can see this in theatre - the song telling the story...not sure if this was intended or not – just my initial reaction

[CryCandice]

Eh, they want it, they use it, I get rich, we're all happy.

Only kidding, but yeah, I was having mad writer's block... and this sort of came to me. I couldn't think of anything to write, and that became my basis for writing.
It was more of an amateur rhyme, hence the unsteady rhythm, but I found myself singing it.

[Peppy]

Oh yeah, inspirational. It makes me want to burst into rhyme. This is a grand entry, one of the best Lyrics/Songs entries I've read.Nice flow, nice rhymes, nice thought. It's just nice, really nice and deep for the most part.

Good job, a pleasurable piece, CryCandice.