[JirQUEST]

First time writing a song. Don't have a tune in mind for this.

I began walking this path
It was an empty void
And time gave me everything
Sent me on a journey
That cannot be taken back
Gave me roads I did not choose

[Chorus]
I felt a great loss
Of innocence, hope and passion
Replaced with pain and uncertainty
I felt a great loss
Everything that I so cherished
Don't know how to get it back again

I stare out into the darkness
Blindly looking for myself
Tell me it is still there
Give me a light to walk to
Ignite the flame once again
And give me back what I lost

[Chorus]
I felt a great loss
Of innocence, hope and passion
Replaced with pain and uncertainty
I felt a great loss
Everything that I so cherished
Don't know how to get it back again

Where is the corner on the road
How long do I have to walk
To get to where I want
To get back what I lost

[Lubesh]

Some great words there...pity about the music

[Bluejay]

Nice sentiments. Thrashing about in the winds of time, childhood optimism and innocence long ago lost, unsure of what the final destination even is.

I'm not sure how easy it would be to set to music, but an eloquent expression of very real feelings nonetheless.

[loosygoosy007]

Nice emotions here, and that's what makes such a great song. It has a pretty consistant flow, which would make it easy to sing to. I have a tune in mind, maybe slow-moving on the verses and rocking out in the chorus and the end stanza, maybe slowly fading off into the distance at the end. I saw this as a rock song when I read it, but I think it would do well for any kind of song.

[JirQUEST]

thank you for all the comments, guys. i have an idea of pianos, but hah, i only know basic guitar stuff.

really nice Jir, not seen much from you on here actually, so this was a good surprise

I could maybe see about some music for this if you wanted?

[JirQUEST]

go ahead and do it man... i'd love to see what can turn up for this one

[WingcommanderIV]

What this song really needs...is more cowbell.

alright, i'll have a mess around and send you some ideas jir (and fish out the cowbell)

[JirQUEST]

send it to jirquest @ gmail.com when you get it down. cheers.

[Clara]

I really liked your poem...

The only thing I would suggest is to change the fourth line:

I began walking this path
It was an empty void
And time gave me everything
Set me on a journey
That cannot be taken back
Gave me roads I did not choose

Rather than say: "set" me on a journey" ,I would use "sent" me on a journey ...
But great poem!

[Syrah]

Excellent content for a song. A message. An emotion. Both excellently expressed and I have a feeling Duncan's going to be able to come up with something great with these lyrics. Seemingly a break out from your normal and is refreshing to see you post something I look forward to more! (More is coming, right? )

[JirQUEST]

heh. it's gonna be a long while before i write another song... i have no idea it took so much thinking and planning (though admittedly, it didnt take me a day, but only 3 hours)! and i also need another theme to get another song down, so....

by the way, clara, thanks for the change. it did sound better too. cheers.

[Masa]

Things in the past stay in the past, there aint nothing we can do about it, it lays where it lies and no man here can unearth it.

Shame there is no music to accompany it, as I'm sure it would have sounded awesome with a beat behind the piece. G'night, and bye bye!

[hillynm]

wicked song check out my poems there all about losing yourself

[dearest]

Great song, great message. So nice to see see thought and emotion behind the lyrics. I especially like the chorus,the tone is just right: it's very nostalgic, very mournful, but still with that tinge of hope. Well handled, and well done overall.

[JirQUEST]

thank you. i was hoping to hit a mournful tone, as well as hope. seems like i did that