[Maud]

THE KILLER:
The lone traveler wandered through the sand,
Walking to the tune of Death's band.

He was a killer,
it was his liefes filler,
If the price was right,
A corpse would be the sight.

He was the fastest with a gun,
Even when his face was to the sun,
No law man dear stand in his way,
If one did that would be his Judgment Day.

But his life wouldn't be wouldn't last forever,
His death wouldn't be never,
Foolishness would be his undoing,
A teenagers training so grueling.

He was the son of a man killed,
Nothing to this child was willed.
So here they meet,
On this lone dusty street.

They stand eye to chin,
The hiding townspeople certain who would win.
Then they reached for their arms,
The child's falling like yarn.

The killer whipped up his gun,
By the time the child got to his the killer was done.
But he was a killer of men,
Against a child he couldn't win.

The mercenary fired too high,
So that is why,
The killer died.

He received no pity,
His condition thought witty,
The child was raised as a hero,
But his fate was like old Nero.

He became to greedy,
His relied on his possessions he became to needy.
His fate was the same,
As the one he lamed.

[Lubesh]

Just a couple of points;

I think in your eagerness to rhyme 'sillier 'is to the detriment of the poem.

He was a killer,
Anything else to him seemed sillier,


Also, using the correct word gives u the rhyme u needed.

His fate was the same,
As the one he (made lame) lamed.

[DarkPower]

That was more like it. The poem was great, I love that style of writing. I love it when you can tell a story though a poem it makes it so much more interesting, and when you do it well its great. I like how you told the part with the child and the killer. How he was the first shot off but missed because he aimed too high.

Lubesh is right though you could do better with the sillier.

[Maud]

better?
thanks Dp

[Pennywise]

I liked Man of the West better