[Jayna]

The intricate pattern of fate's tapestry
The enigma of life and love

It didn't matter where we were on the sperate sides of the glass
All I could see was you.
It seemed as though we mirrored each other.
You would smile that wistful smile but your eyes would tell me the whole truth.
Year after year, and day after day, the walls around our life were collapsing.
Falling, into my pools of unshed tears.

It was you who taught me how to live and love.
How to have strength and be strong.
And when I started to fall, you would always catch me before my feet would touch the floor.
I lived by the warmth of your heart, Now the cold is beginning to arise.
It has a hold on us.

Time is passing more and more, but your eyes make me think otherwise.
The dark emotions you try to hide are showing.

I'm unable to read my own reflection, staring back at me.
All I see is you, on the separate side of the glass, reflecting my reflection of pools of unleased tears.

[Jayna]

To all who reads this poem understand which point of view i'm speaking from.I'm the reflection of myself and this is how i would feel.

[Lubesh]

I enjoyed that very much. Just a thought; I don't know if it was deliberate use, but if not you could try to replace the repeated 'reflection' and use 'echo' or similar, along those lines. 'Reflecting an echo of pools of unleashed tears.'

[psycosis]

I enjoyed it very much.....I agree with lubesh's comments but found you able to convey your inner reflection very well

[Jayna]

Thank you both very much for your comments.

[cheung shun sang]

Are there a twin you behind the mirrors. You had writen a very good poem. Good sounds and flows indeed

[Venomous Vixen]

I enjoyed this one as well, though Lu is spot on with it being unnecessary to spell it out for the reader. Something more abstract would force the reader to think a bit, which a great poem should. The only other suggestion I have is the formatting, the choppiness of the lines are hard on the eyes... maybe break some of them up or center the piece. Otherwise, great ideas in there!

Originally Posted by cheung shun sang

Are there a twin you behind the mirrors. You had writen a very good poem. Good sounds and flows indeed

No there is no twin. I'm my reflection in the mirror and the poem is how i would feel. thank you for comment.

[RENA HANDS]

I applaud the whole illustration, still I think you’re being repetitive.
It seems to me that you are addressing a lesser version of yourself to encourage the new you or something similar…

Fate is defined as 1. force predetermine events: the force or principle believed to predetermine events 2. outcome: a consequence or final result
3. destiny: something with decisive or far-reaching consequences that inevitably happens to somebody or something 4. disastrous consequence: a disastrous or ruinous outcome.

If one is standing in front of a mirror then you’re reflecting, making an evaluation of yourself(past to present). From your poem I see a reflection not necessarily Fate.

[Jayna]

Originally Posted by RENA HANDS

I applaud the whole illustration, still I think you’re being repetitive.
It seems to me that you are addressing a lesser version of yourself to encourage the new you or something similar…

Fate is defined as 1. force predetermine events: the force or principle believed to predetermine events 2. outcome: a consequence or final result
3. destiny: something with decisive or far-reaching consequences that inevitably happens to somebody or something 4. disastrous consequence: a disastrous or ruinous outcome.

If one is standing in front of a mirror then you’re reflecting, making an evaluation of yourself(past to present). From your poem I see a reflection not necessarily Fate.

I'm not addressing a weaker version of myself. I'm addressing the reflection of myself. Its like if your reflection could talk what would it say kinda poem.

As for 'fate' being defined in this poem its number '3. destiny: something with decisive or far-reaching consequences that inevitably happens to somebody or something'.

Its inevitable for a person to reflect on their reflection (present to present) and find something that they don't like about it. I took it to the next level by written in a poem how my reflection would feel if it could speak. Thank you for you comment and I hope you have better understand of my poem.