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Re: Rising Up
Ah, see, now this is exactly what I missed. You words make me feel empowered, and deliver a strong and clear message. Loved that nice little smack of reality about the tits and all men see... more often than not it is sadly true. You had a great form going as well, there were a few places you could have cut a syllable or added but overall good flow and great piece! I want more
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"when one person suffers from a delusion it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called religion."
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Re: Rising Up
Thanks Bri...it's good to get my shit on here again. I've missed your input. There will more. trust. And I'm still working on Addiction. I haven't given up on it yet.
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I won't rent you my time, I won't sell you my brain, I won't pray to a male god, that would be insane. And I can't support the troops, cuz every last one of them is being duped, and I will not rest a wink until the women have regrouped. |
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Re: Rising Up
You better not! Or I will drag you back by the scruff of your neck...hahaha..if only you could grab scruffs of necks in cyberspace. I can tell your still listening to Ani...haha...but this was...intresting. Nah, great. Nothing like a bit of feminism to wake you up in the morning, as usual, flawless flow, some great decriptions in there...man, I missed your poetry...it's so passioante and real...and awesome. Kick ass job mate.
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I like boys with strong convictions and convicts with perfect diction, Underdogs with good intentions Amputees with stamp collections -So Nice, So Smart |
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Re: Rising Up
Thanks Chris. I've missed your input on it. It's not great, but it's a stepping stone to getting me flowing again...I've got something in the works now, I'm pretty excited about, but I may end up needing your help with it. A little co-authorship.....we'll talk about it. Perhaps Bri could get in on it as well..
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I won't rent you my time, I won't sell you my brain, I won't pray to a male god, that would be insane. And I can't support the troops, cuz every last one of them is being duped, and I will not rest a wink until the women have regrouped. |
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Re: Rising Up
You've created a very stong narratorial voice, definately empowering as VV said.
In relation to content, it kind of felt overall a bit cliche man-hating, but when i though about it more, it's perfectly valid (not sayin that it needs my validation!) a deifnitely still evident in society. At the top of every heirarchy there's always a man. He's always white. He's always has incredible wealth. He's always heterosexual. I only tick two of those four boxes lol
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"We can forgive a man for making a useful thing as long as he does not admire it. The only excuse for making a useless thing is that one admires it intensely." - Wilde
Last edited by jaziz69; 04-03-2008 at 01:54 AM. |
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Re: Rising Up
Not so much clcihed - yes its been done likemsot things,navoidable..but here, very well done and re tackled and not afraid to have been..cant have too many ever.
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