[Venomous Vixen]

Words
Insignificant letters
Unfolding before me
Your words
Why now?

Fabric's coming undone
Woven to keep you out
You
Tugging the threads
Spiraling my life again
With your words

Those letters in front of me
My downfall
My hidden pain
Drudged up again
In your words

Your ever haunting words
You'll never let me forget
You'll never leave me be
Now on the screen
How naive can I be?

Did not expect this
Those words
Your words

Falling
Slipping
Finding myself lost
There
The place you kept me
Locked away
With your words

The same fucking words
Empty promises
Chaining me
Breaking me

Go to hell
With your words
The same hell
You left me
When you last spoke
Words
Your words

[Bluejay]

Wow, I like that a lot! The last stanza really expresses things and wraps it up/ties it together nicely. The last two stanzas have so much emotion. It's like a turning point right there, where a decision is made about how to react once the shock wears off. I also like the way that "words" means so many different things, in all those different contexts.

Small words together painting a big picture. Nice!

[Venomous Vixen]

Thank you hun...

[Jess1016]

This is a really neat concept. you really personifie the importance of words. you almost turn them into a beast, kinda an chimera that takes whatever shape its host wants it. I like this because words really can do that, they can take anyshape. And when they're turned against you, that beast...it isnt friendly.

Great work as always

[Venomous Vixen]

Thank you very much Jess! "chimera" great word too

[jaziz69]

LOVED this stanza:

"Fabric's coming undone
Woven to keep you out
You
Tugging the threads
Spiraling my life again
With your words"

For me just conjurs up so much right at the beginning of the piece, and i think you can really draw different meanings from it. "Woven to keep you out"; I initially though of it as a creative kind of subconscious 'id' character escaping into consciousness through the unweaving of social conformity. lol. See, different meanings.

Great, keep writing.

[Venomous Vixen]

Thank you very much

[Serac]

Let's take a look at the stereotype checklist up in here, up in here.....

1. Does something come undone or unraveled during the poem? Check.

2. Does the poem deal with perceived emotional pain or rape? Check.

3. Do the words kill, die, dead, or death appear at all? Uncheck.

4. Do the words dark, darkness, haunt, or haunting appear more than once? Uncheck.

5. Does the poem end in some sort of resolve to be stronger or some such similar way? Check.

Of the five things I came up with on the spot, this poem has three of them. Because I am a master judge of everything, I accurately judge this poem to be teen angsty. That is not cool, Vivi.

I couldn't find an actual pattern to read it in, either. It was choppy and didn't run at all. Even when talking in a normal manner, there is a certain swagger and fluidness to it. Speech is best when it rolls off the tongue and kicks your hearer's eardrums with the boot of eloquence. So it follows that a poem, which at its best is meant to be a pretty cluster of words with a form and rhyme, must use not the boot, but the bazooka of eloquence. This had no user-friendly reading pattern, and when spoken it doesn't come out eloquent or fluid. This is what makes it teen angst. It's a cluster of words trying to describe sadness and anger. You also throw in the F word, for good measure, laying to rest the saving grace of class. Surely you can do better than that, dearest!

[Venomous Vixen]

Haha OK, this may have been a bit dramatic. When I originally wrote this, well someone from the past decided to step into my life again and I was pissed off, reverting to the same feelings I had when I was younger. For that fact alone I won't change this one, I like that it captured who I was then and it is a nice reminder to never be that again . There was no pattern intended here either, it was a stream of conscious, just rattling off what came to mind on paper. Good to have you back, and thanks for reading and putting me in my place This is far from my best work.

[Vorcla]

Whoa. You told HIM!

Nicely done. I have no problem with the "drama;" this is poetry - it's supposed to be expressing what you really felt. You told me to go with my gut feelings and stick to what I wrote the first time; it's more honest. I see the value in that.

You DO have a knack!

[Venomous Vixen]

Thank you again lol. I guess everyone is going to have an opinion, haha you can't please them all. But this one means a lot to me and I am glad you enjoyed it... You are making me blush this morning!

[Fumus]

VV, you are awesome. I like everything you write. I can tell you had fun when you wrote this and I think that's why it was so fun to read.

Your ever haunting words
You'll never let me forget
You'll never leave me be
Now on the screen
How naive can I be?

I love introspection like this. Very cool.

[Venomous Vixen]

Thank you so much!!

[Corneac]

Gosh, with all these males complimenting your poetry I may actualy have to start paying attention to it aye? hahahaha

[Venomous Vixen]

Might do you some good to mind it, yes

[Fumus]

Originally Posted by Corneac

Gosh, with all these males complimenting your poetry I may actualy have to start paying attention to it aye? hahahaha

I assure you, our relationship has always been completely poetic.

[Corneac]

Better be. I can ban people y'know...hahaha

[Fumus]

Originally Posted by Corneac

Better be. I can ban people y'know...hahaha

Ban? Damn, I just want my story to get posted finally so people can comment on it.