[Peppy]

Adorn a pig; keep the key,

Throw away your life
And keep me clean,

Going once around the rainbow,

You’ll demean the flavours,
From bleach blue to viral green,
From blood red to hellish black,

Walk with shame
You’ll meet with Hatred,
And you’ll be given a new name--
Adilia,

Skin the eyes and all the birds,
Blood and pebbles come in droves
Forget your blinded-eye sets for tomorrow.

[Phonoho]

Adorn a pig? If I could make a silk purse from a sow's ear, I wouldn't, as it would require the reader to do all the stitching himself, eliminating the need for the author's own craftsmanship and style, excusing him from consciously participating in a work which bears his name. In my view, it goes against his grain and stands in stark opposition of a poet's role in literature.

As an exercise, I can see where it could have some exploratory value, writing down your thoughts in an uninterrupted stream just to see what's there, but then separating the juicy pieces from the dry clutter before getting down to the business of actively composing a poem. Presuming himself a fountain, spouting verses with little or no control, the poet becomes a stenographer and little more.

There are some worthy lines here (your color descriptions are very interesting and highly apt), but your choice of category implies that they were accidental and any functional poetic affect a mere happenstance.
I've never been on board with the whole "stream of consciousness" idea but, in keeping with the category's description, I'll post this up as is with no editing.

[Peppy]

Originally Posted by Phonoho

Adorn a pig? If I could make a silk purse from a sow's ear, I wouldn't, as it would require the reader to do all the stitching himself, eliminating the need for the author's own craftsmanship and style, excusing him from participating in a work which bears his name. The poet becomes a stenographer and little more.
There are some worthy lines here (your color descriptions are interesting), but your choice of category implies that they were accidental and any functional poetic affect a mere happenstance.
I've never been on board with the whole "stream of consciousness" idea but, in keeping with the category's description, I'll post this up as is with no interference from me.

Yeah, I know what you mean. But I'm going to take advantage of it. No point in fighting something that lets you say what you want to say.

[RENA HANDS]

Splendid! How did I ever miss this posting?

Love this…You’ll demean the flavours,
From bleach blue to viral green,
From blood red to hellish black,

Now’s that smack in the face poetry! The form, this new body of writing is extremely Impressive! Rhyme and rhythm, Excellent (at least in this review’s opinion). I rate 5/5!

[MindsEye]

I only have one word of advice for this piece and that is to consider changing the title. The right title can unify a poem like this. It may be tricky finding the right one... but I suggest putting yourself back in that place where the words came from... that time, that state of mind and it will come to you.
Don't settle for what does not feel right.... you will know.

I feel the current title is to detached, to unfeeling, and does not lend any strength to the whole (of course if it works for you theres not much more to be said about it). However, there is a certain beauty in visual poetry like this...it twists your mind with its images and words for a short trip, a journey into something foreign or familiar and to have a title that ties ideas together will lend more to its overall impact on the reader.