Extreme Makeover: Writing EditionThe goal of this competition is to spice up an elementary level piece of writing. Entries will be accepted in prose or poetry format.
Well in true EMWE fashion I'll have a go at one for a prompt... keeping it as simple as possible.
The wave was big. I could see a lighter blue inside of it as the sun shone through. It was headed towards me, ten times as tall as I stood. There was no time to paddle back to shore. I looked at it and I was scared. I did not know what to do. I could feel the vibrations through the board between my legs. The spray began to hit my face before it hit. In the last seconds I dove beneath the water, not knowing which direction I faced. All I could see around me was a greenish blue and I could feel the pressure from all sides. I started to sink in panic, deeper and deeper below the surface. Just as I was getting dizzy I kicked with all of my might in the opposite direction I was falling. I broke free, swam to my board and readied myself for the next big swell.
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"Money doesn't talk, it swears." -Bob Dylan
"Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise." -Alice Walker
"I don't know if I can live on my income or not - the government won't let me try it." -Bob Thaves
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wordsmyth
See I'm not worried at all. Bri would save the alcohol and her wolfman in the process.
I swore, offending the other passenger with my loud voice and mere presence. The train thundered through a tunnel, with a speed that reminded me of the years that seemed to quicken with every day. Graffiti, and the skyline remind me of something I can't quite put my finger on. The scenrey blurs, much like life. Smells assualt my senses, sound hum in my ears. The train rolls on.
I throw breadcumbs, immersed in the mere act. I don't notice the sounds around me, the kid playing on the park, the other passerbys. I see my reflection in the water, and remember the past. I remember you, who once tood next to me. I remember bodies of water, so different from this one. A duck squawks, a kid screams. I run out of bread.
I dunno, I'm bored. lol.
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"Snip! Snap! Snip! the scissors go;
And Conrad cries out - Oh! Oh! Oh!
Snip! Snap! Snip! They go so fast;
That both his thumbs are off at last.
Mamma comes home; there Conrad stands,
And looks quite sad, and shows his hands;-
"Ah!" said Mamma "I knew he'd come
To naughty little Suck-a-Thumb." - The Story of Suck-a-Thumb, Heinrich Hoffman
I thought I would bring this back to everyones attention, and maybe we can get some fresh ideas in here. To clarify, the actual prompt should be writing in its simplest form, the kind that makes you shudder, like a child wrote it That said, I'll have a go at one...
There were leaves by my feet. They crunched when I walked. I saw many colors in them. It was one mile to school and I enjoyed the trip. I jumped in a large pile. I was in leaves to my knees and I smiled. I liked this season. The trees were bare now, and the air was getting cold. Wind moved the colors at my feet and I watched. I lost track of time and I was almost late for my first class. I did not mind, being out here seemed more fun than in there. I spent the rest of the day staring out at the covered ground. I could not wait for my walk home.
__________________
"Money doesn't talk, it swears." -Bob Dylan
"Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise." -Alice Walker
"I don't know if I can live on my income or not - the government won't let me try it." -Bob Thaves
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wordsmyth
See I'm not worried at all. Bri would save the alcohol and her wolfman in the process.
The sound of street cars woke me from my sleep. The room was dark. Shadows from the trees on my wall moved. The wind stirred up. I heard a screech of tyres and sat up. Gun shots rang out and I leapt out of bed. I heard my front door being kicked down. I ran tothe nearest cupboard and hid. Holding my breath I played with the clothes hanging inside. I could hear them getting closer and I sobbed. The light went on then off. My heart was ready to burst. Muffled voices called to each other. I didin't want to know their names. I wet myelf as I sat, waiting and hoping they would go. My closet door opened. I black mask bore down on me. I heard gunshots again and felt more wet as I bled to death.
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Did you know...points are up for grabs....just for entering...
250 - LIMERICK, CFPC, 55, EMWE, 1000, TotM, 1000 WC
100 - VOTING IN A CONTEST POLL, YES, JUST VOTING!
I was asleep. The sun was in my eyes and woke me. I put my feet on the floor and heard a scream downstairs. The scream was loud. I ran down the stairs. Except I fell at the bottom and slid across the floor. Momma had waxed it good. The scream had turned into a whining, but still loud enough. It made echos in the hall. I got to my feet and ran. There was light coming from under the kitchen door. When I burst through the doorway I found...
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Go vote on a challenge or will eat you!
Quote:
Oh...you...you...you BIG BAD WOLF! Bad girl! You go potty on the paper! BAD Girl!!!
You saw her the same way I did. her eyes and their colour, her hair and its movement. Her smile that once smiled at me the same way. Jealousy passed like weather. Love came a again, but in a different form. A form I respected, a form that no longer respected me in the same way. You see her and she sees you back.
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"Snip! Snap! Snip! the scissors go;
And Conrad cries out - Oh! Oh! Oh!
Snip! Snap! Snip! They go so fast;
That both his thumbs are off at last.
Mamma comes home; there Conrad stands,
And looks quite sad, and shows his hands;-
"Ah!" said Mamma "I knew he'd come
To naughty little Suck-a-Thumb." - The Story of Suck-a-Thumb, Heinrich Hoffman
The air scratched my throat. The unusual sky lent mood to the day. My daughter was gone and I had to search for her. It had been days since it happened. Today was unbearable as it passed by without seeing her again. All signs say she is living, which at least is some relief in a situation without satisfaction and full of grief.
will eat you!
It was the best I could do under pressure. 
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